


Eruri Drabbles

by Zeds_Dead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Aquariums, Canon Era, Cats, Cosplay, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot Collection, Tattoos, eruri - Freeform, everything really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-08 00:16:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 26,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11634951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead
Summary: A collection of my eruri drabbles and one-shots, mostly depressing af at first, gets lighter later on.





	1. Time

Time lies.

A week feels like a day. A month feels like an hour. The longer it takes, the shorter it seems. 

Levi doesn’t know how many minutes have passed, how many seconds. All he knows is eternal emptiness and it will never abate. The dreams keep waking his already sporadic sleep. The recollections. Silly little things like how Erwin would laugh, forget his station and just simply live. Each memorised wrinkle in the corner of his eye now commanded gravity, begged to be remembered but in life they didn’t matter. Hindsight has a lot to answer for. 

It will never stop hurting. It will never stop asking ‘why didn’t we…?’ or 'I should have…’

It’s too late.


	2. Spine

There was something about the way that Levi’s spine curled, a beautiful valley of flesh and bone that just begged to be touched, the small of his back dipping down in such an irresistible line. Erwin dug his thumbs in, pressing and searching as he tried to become even more connected to the man, his fingers gripping at Levi’s waist, pulling the smaller frame against his own hips in a rhythmic dance of desire. Erwin wanted to feel every part of Levi, needed to, his whole life depending on one person alone who called his name in ragged moans, pale hands fisting and kneading at white sheets. 

A tinge of sadness tugged at Erwin’s open mouth, his bowed head shining with sweat and effort and he watched Levi’s body react to his motions, carefully observing the further bend and heaving shoulder blades, breaths dragged in and out loudly in synch to their passion. With Levi, Erwin could be anything, do anything, yet he also had to be everything for this individual, a role which he found himself increasingly failing in. 

As the humid evening reached midnight, familiar pops and bangs of fireworks filled the air, the couple’s loud climax masked by the cacophonous explosions outside, turned to nothing but whispers whilst the world celebrated around them. Another year ahead. Twelve months which neither of them knew how to live through.

The city’s festivities continued in raucous waves, a single figure standing by an open window, silhouetted by moonlight and flashes of colour and again Erwin observed silently. He took in the naked vision before him, memorised each dip and jut of bone, saved it for lonelier moments as he tightened his backpack, belongings stashed as always. 

“I won’t ask when, Erwin.”

Levi blew faint trails of smoke from his mouth when speaking, lazy clouds rising from the cigarette which burned between his lightly trembling fingers. 

_Thank you._

_Thank you._

_Thank you._

The words never graced Erwin’s lips, remained stuck inside and forever mute as he rose, desperate to reach out and touch the most important individual in his life but unable to do so. Every time. Every single time they played this scene out like from a script and when Erwin closed the door quietly, he heard the unmistakeable and unstoppable sigh of despair which crept out from Levi’s chest like a ghost, one that would haunt him.


	3. Almost

Levi looked at lips he knew so well already, pinkish flesh which he’d become lost in many times before as their owner spoke during meetings, in front of soldiers, in private. Each miniscule part had been committed to memory, burned into Levi’s retinas and as those lips grew closer, he couldn’t quite find the ability to draw in oxygen to feed his suddenly starved lungs. 

Just Thursday. An ordinary dull and stormy Thursday. 

But it wasn’t so ordinary now as Erwin’s breath tickled at his nose, cold puffs blowing gently in the freezing evening air and they stood together beneath a grand tree, the leaves hissing their protest at being so violently disturbed by wind. 

“Levi…forgive me.” A gentle yet battle-worn hand tentatively landed on Levi’s cheek, the thumb stroking softly under his pout and fingertips curling beneath the angle of his jaw. “I shouldn’t have waited."

“For what?”

His voice was a ragged whisper, their proximity intoxicating and the rain beat a thunderous soundtrack around them, canopy letting through the occasional fat droplet of water but the drips failed to break their bubble, wouldn’t encroach upon a moment which was so long in the making. 

Levi stared mesmerised, frozen in time as the man he’d craved swallowed hard, throat bobbing visibly and the distance between them grew smaller still, lips almost touching. Almost.


	4. Memories

Different memories come at different times. The usual pain is ever present, but exact details sneak in at night. 

When it’s dark as pitch and no one else stirs. When the only person who could alleviate any night terrors isn’t there. 

When the world’s weight presses down like a ton of bricks. 

Just then, right in that sweaty and confused moment, that is when he really feels connected. 

Reality and dreams mean nothing, merged together in a mess of coherence that Levi needs, even begs for. Stark images plague his mind, providing solace along side the pain, an exquisite combination that soothes and stabs equally. 

Levi calls out, hands gripping white sheets that should be shared, knuckles that had been kissed now turning white with the strain of solitude.


	5. Stars

Stars are only visible in darkness. 

That's what Levi had to keep reminding himself of when the sun abandoned the world and turned day into an inky night, a line mumbled by dry lips, a way to remain grounded. Unfortunately he found even this failing to work in recent months, his trusty mantra now useless and Levi began to give in to inevitability. 

As final trails of pink clouds started to fade from the sky, Levi pulled the cloak tighter around his tense frame and he shivered, not from the weather but a knowledge of what was to come. His thunderous strides were a notification to all, no one ever really speaking with the increasingly solitary man anymore and figures disappeared into the lengthening shadows, avoided eye contact. They'd all heard Levi in those dark hours, the memories of his wretched cries emblazoned on their minds, each sobbing yell that ripped through the halls still so raw.

It was quiet nowadays, though. Almost like he'd even lost the will to grieve. 

The absence of light pressed against Levi's chest, made it difficult to breathe and he closed his eyes, forehead resting on a window pane, nails digging into fleshy scarred palms. Anxiety swept over his body, starting as mild panic in the form of a heightened heart rate, spreading to his limbs which felt heavy as stone. All Levi wanted to do was crawl under the sheets and hide like a scared child, fist at the covers until his tears sent him to sleep, but he forced himself to stay solid. 

He'd never dreaded the night this deeply before, hadn't held such a horrifying respect for it. Previously Levi had companionship, a reason to get out of bed in the morning, however now he had nothing but the stars.

Erwin wasn't one for gazing to the heavens, no such habitual routine before slumber or fairy tales directed to the twinkling specks, so Levi couldn't quite fathom where his superstition had arisen from. Perhaps he'd picked it up in his early years, perhaps a story told by his mother. Or maybe just a fraught mind's way of dealing with loss. 

He lifted his lids with a sigh, grey lifeless stare locking onto bright white pinpricks that peppered the midnight canvas. One of those was Erwin. Another was Mike. And so on. Levi had named every single star he could recall, a morbid thought in itself given the sheer number and he focussed on a singular point, softening his gaze as he told himself this dreadful daily blackout was necessary. 

Stars are only visible in darkness. 

Stars are only visible in darkness. 

Erwin is only visible in darkness. 

It allowed Levi to forget for a while, helped him ignore the hours of pain ahead - a much better coping mechanism than screaming til dawn and he smiled gently, finger tip drumming against the glass directly on Erwin. They would speak tonight. Like every night. Every night until they both were stars.


	6. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For eruri week 2017, prompt of the same name

"Say it again." 

Fire crackled in the hearth, keeping winter at bay and shielding those nearby from the icy clutches outside, orange hues flickering across bare flesh, limbs that were tangled together being lit in warming tones. Other than the words just spoken, the only sound was that of wood popping, heavy logs turned to embers. Moments such as these were fleeting, a rarity to enjoy and Levi stretched, legs shaking through recent effort and skin slicked with sweat, his dark hair laying plastered to a strong shoulder. 

Erwin nuzzled at the damp locks, nose burrowing deeper as he inhaled such decadence, swore to recall this scent during times apart. But he wouldn't allow heavy thoughts to enter his mind, instead stroked at weathered skin, fingertips bumping over scars that told a story all of their own, each one a trophy of life. He smiled kindly, lips grazing Levi's ear now as he prepared himself to answer that same question one more time. 

It couldn't be said enough. Wasn't said enough. A tiny declaration which had left his mouth only minutes ago for the first time. And here he was, uttering them for a tenth. 

"I love you." 

Levi squirmed with contentment, a loud sigh confirming his peace and Erwin imagined a smile dancing across Levi's mouth, one he couldn't see as they cuddled together, but he knew it was there. What he didn't know was why he'd chosen to say this tonight. Missions were commonplace, the risk of an untimely death following them like a morbid shadow, but today felt different. More final. An end. 

Shaking those particular cobwebs away, Erwin turned to scoop Levi into his one remaining arm, chest to back, finding solace in the embrace which seemed to hold immense gravity. 

Levi sensed it too, yet didn't speak. He preferred to block that out and selfishly demand more. Who could blame him though? In a world so cruel and spiteful, why shouldn't he have one tiny slice of happiness? With that in mind, Levi shuffled further into Erwin's warmth, eyes closed and lips set in a larger than suspected smile. 

"One more time."

"I love you, Levi."

"I love you too."

~~~~~~

One year later. A whole year alone. Abandoned. Soul split in two and then ripped into a million pieces for good measure. 

Levi puffed the cold air from his lungs, visible breath the only sign that he was still alive and he knelt, placing a singular flower to the frozen ground. 

"Say it again, Erwin." 

But of course, no answer came this time.


	7. First Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tumblr drabble prompt for Mang-o - "erwin is hanging out at hange's, levi arrives and has a heart-attack with the beginnings of a boner, when a hot&buff blond dude answers hange's door??????"

Levi hadn’t been to Hange’s in a while, preferring to steer clear and give his ears a break for a bit. And his arms, actually. Just thinking about the over-zealous yet kind punches was enough to make Levi rub his bicep as he climbed the stone stairs, Hange’s apartment situated on the fourth floor of a building with no working elevators.

He didn’t like to be absent for long though, one of his few actual friends always ready to accommodate visitors no matter the time of day. They also understood his need for solitude, purposefully gave him the research position at their place of work - shut away in a room all day on his own with databases and surveys? Yes please.

Each step added an extra dimension of fatigue to his body, Levi’s earlier work-out still hanging on to tired limbs. His bag hung from one shoulder, full of clean clothes and toiletries - Hange had offered their shower, fully aware that Levi couldn’t bear the gym’s facilities and he took the last few paces, six-pack of beer under his arm and face undoubtedly showing signs of a rigorous circuit-training session.

Levi lifted his weary hand and knocked briskly, sure to be audible over even Hange’s noise and he waited impatiently, unsure what was taking so long. He shifted from foot to foot, faint clunks from the other side of the door and he bit back a brusque yell, gritting his teeth and reminding himself that he needed to exercise more patience.

Finally the lock rattled from one side to the other and the door opened swiftly, Levi’s enthusiastic friend nowhere to be seen but he had more on his mind right now, the vision of beauty standing in place of the usually dishevelled Hange.

“Hi! I’m Erwin. You must be Levi?”

Hearing his name drip from those full lips…being pinned down by soft yet sharp blue…standing so close to a tight shirt that promised an incredible chest…

Levi crumbled inside, any usual cutting sarcasm or smart remarks now rendered defunct as he basked in the glow from his new acquaintance, breathed in his cologne and lost himself in Erwin’s orbit. His eyes glassed over, brain whirring with inappropriate thoughts and he failed to hear the next words, simply stared blankly at the offered hand.

Erwin’s smile faltered briefly before recalling what Hange had told him over lunch earlier, a short apology given in relation to Levi’s stoney exterior which Erwin had waved away - he’d yet to meet anyone who he couldn’t get chatting in a matter of minutes, his polite and pleasant demeanour usually bringing people out of their shells. However he seemed to have met his match. His attractive, sweaty, intriguing match.

The pair stood in quiet reflection and Levi visibly shook himself, removing Erwin’s naked sex-slicked body from his mind with difficulty and he took Erwin’s hand, his own clammy palm seeming so disgusting and raw. If Erwin minded, he didn’t show it and they shared a strong shake, one which lingered and Levi felt sparks of excitement, suddenly aware of a growing problem below.

“Bathroom.”

He shot inside past a confused Erwin, vaguely registering Hange in the kitchen and Levi locked himself away, busying his hands with his bag and the shower.

Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him. Think about that sleazy guy at the gym…

Twenty minutes later and a fresh Levi emerged, met by two stares and a beer. Hange winked out of Erwin’s sight and rushed to sort dinner, leaving Levi to glower darkly, his blush painfully evident as Erwin started up a conversation.

“So Levi, how do you know Hange?”

“I…I um…”

Levi looked at his socks, wriggling his toes to try and burrow a way out of the awkwardness but Erwin was relentless, it seemed.

“You work together, right? We went to college. Same class. Certainly helped to set me up for life in the big bad world!”

The words rang loud in Levi’s head, spinning and twisting. He glanced over to Hange, saw the second wink and a waggle of brows which told him all he needed to know. Set me up. Set me up. Hange fucking set us up.

He couldn’t keep hold of any anger though and chanced a faint nod, turning his attention back to something resembling normal human interaction.

“I bet that was a fucking nightmare.”

Erwin laughed, rich and true, a sound which made Levi exhale in a sigh.

“It was definitely interesting, Levi. I’ll say that much.” Erwin leaned in like he was about to share a massive secret, the proximity sending sparks once again to Levi’s crotch. “I hear Hange is making that famous casserole for dinner. Can you join us?”

“Y-yea sure.”

“Good.”

Erwin’s genuine glee was written all over his face and he gently touched Levi’s shoulder, guiding him towards the dining table and Levi felt himself melting under the weight of another’s hand, well and truly doomed to become wholly infatuated with Erwin. And Levi decided that wasn’t such a bad thing at all.


	8. Costumes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a tumblr prompt: ridiculous/embarrassing cosplay.

“I’m not wearing it.”

Levi bent his knees, stretching and loosening the cloth where needed, only to have it ping straight back up again and he huffed, their reflection in the large bedroom mirror staring back like a sick colourful joke.

Some more adjusting took place, all fruitless though and Levi glanced sideways, saw how Erwin preened and posed in the mirror, turning this way and that to get a good view. He was clearly happy, but Levi most certainly was not.

“Erwin? I said I’m not wearing it. My balls don’t have any fucking circulation left.”

“Let me help.”

Erwin giggled before appearing behind him, pawing at Levi’s crotch, the silky fabric revealing everything which lay beneath, soft, warm and pliable.

“Oi stoppit Erwin!”

“Why? Isn’t this helping?”

“What do you reckon?”

Levi sighed, gave into Erwin’s games for a short while and rested his head back into stiff plastic, the chest-plate preventing him from feeling anything of his husband. A smouldering sulk combined beautifully with flashes of lust in silver eyes and Erwin grinned, aware of the effectiveness of his sedate strokes.

“Seems like it’s helping.” He spoke thickly in Levi’s ear, that damn sugar-soaked voice vibrating through Levi’s bones and straight to his semi-hard cock. “Want me to help some more?”

There was a split second when Levi considered tearing the fucking uncomfortable lycra from his body, ripping it into shreds and giving Erwin full access but he remained still, mindful of the time.

“Erwin, we have to leave in ten minutes…fuck.” Levi swallowed, dry mouth ill-equipped for the reflex and he gave a badly contained groan, the reverberations already out there and contradicting his cracked protestations. “And I am not going to some fucked up fancy dress party with a lycra boner.”

Erwin paused, momentarily overcome by laughter and he moved his hand, draping a matte-black arm gently around Levi’s neck and drawing him further in, pressing his hips cheekily against Levi’s ass in slow circles. It gave Erwin a perfect view of said ‘lycra boner’, the inviting bulge out there for all to see.

“Hmm, I suppose you’re right. There’s no hiding that.”

“How come you get the good costume, Erwin? Why do I have to go as fucking 1960’s Robin and you swan around like Val sodding Kilmer?” The difference was rather evident, Levi’s cheap outfit appearing laughable next to Erwin’s studio prop. “I look like I should be in Only Fools And Horses, for fuck sakes.”

“Sorry darling.” Erwin did it again, just had to drip that low syrupy tone into Levi’s ear and it dampened any grumpiness, his hand travelling south again to trace the very noticable outline of Levi’s erection. “I can make it up to you?”

The ability to stand upright slowly started to exit Levi’s legs, jelly knees threatening to give way at any moment…and that was when Erwin thumbed over the tip of his cock, dampening the godforsaken fabric and making Levi shudder from the ground up, whole body covered in goosebumps and throat spasming.

“Fuck you, Erwin.” Levi spoke softly, as gentle as Erwin’s exploration beneath and he melted backwards, watching their reflections and the infuriatingly smug smile on his husband’s face. “We’ll be late.”

“And? It’s the least I can do. You deserve some kind of compensation for this costume.”

“Compensation?” Teeth nibbled at Levi’s lobe, hot breath drifting over in waves and he twitched into Erwin’s palm, creating further friction and Levi moaned loudly. “Ok. But keep the mask on.”

“What? Levi…?" 

"I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to fuck Batman.”


	9. Permanent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt - tattoos

The buzzing had started to annoy the man, every burst of metallic screeching going right through him and making his teeth hurt. A constant noise would've been fine but this stop-start pattern caused infuriating waves of adrenaline in his stomach, angry butterflies crashing around inside of him with each press of the pedal. 

Maybe it wasn't just the sound, he mused. Maybe it was the smell too. The shallow dimensionless disinfected smell. Someone had once suggested that it might be a calming influence for him, solace gained from the knowledge that his surroundings were perfectly clean, however the reality was very different. He enjoyed the scent of his own products, ones carefully chosen after trying out every new flavour and aroma, his arsenal full of soothing bouquets. 

This was not one he would have chosen. It had no depth, no feeling and it kept getting sprayed on him over and over and over again. Add to that the maddening sensation of paper towels being dragged across his already raw flesh…it was enough to make him close to murderous. 

But why? He couldn't remember why and silver eyes glared down to the back of his wrist, right hand now being inked too with intricate decorative lines, a word nestled amongst the beautiful black swirls.

Levi. 

What the fuck did that mean? Who was Levi? 

He looked up, surveyed his surroundings intensely and he stilled upon a sheet of paper, the handwriting familiar and strangely warming. It gave instructions, very specific instructions and the man stared further, some kind of instinct settling in - he noted the door, exits, windows, water sources, how many peoole were in here, everything. 

One of the people had a phone, talking at a level he couldn't quite hear but they kept looking at him, almost as if making sure he was still here and it unnerved him, made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and heart race. Fight or flight. He was in trouble. Had to get out. Had to. 

He lifted his left hand, ready to ball up a fist and smack the guy tattooing him first, just to make him pay for the goddamn noise if nothing else, when something caught his eye, numbers on his inside wrist like a hesitation mark. It looked like a phone number, a cell…

Why? What's fucking going on? 

Panic slithered over his body as the hellish buzz stopped abruptly, soothing balm rubbed across his sore skin. Plastic was wrapped gently, instructions on after-care given half-heartedly and the door opened, not revealing whoever stood behind it. The person who'd been on a call wasn't speaking down their phone anymore but to the new arrival and agonising curiosity took hold, the man raising to shaking legs with trepidation. 

Who was here? Why? What did they want? 

"Levi? You ready?" 

A tall blonde entered, attractive and serious-looking despite his apparent attempts at seeming nonchalant and 'Levi' slinked into a corner, never turning his back, all eyes on him. He supposed he'd better say something, anything to stop the scrutiny and cease that unnerving attention which had his guts churning with uncertainty. 

"Um…who…?"

He could manage no more, recently sharp senses swiftly dulled to nothing, a blunt instrument his only weapon and he slumped against the wall, defeated and confused. 

"Come. I'll take you home." 

There was an air of safety about the large man, a narrative which spoke of comfort and he decided to follow, allow someone else to make his choices, ones he clearly couldn't pick himself. The blonde paid the tattooist and gave thanks, leading him outside but not actually touching, a gesture that seemed unnatural and they stood by a blue car, passenger door opened kindly. 

He stalled, nervous and scared. Could he really get into a stranger's car? His feet already felt useless, date and time an unknown and he looked around, the street scene utterly alien. 

"I…but I…I walked here…from work…?"

"No, Levi. You didn't." 

"Stop calling me that." He hunched like a cat about to pounce, circled round the back of the vehicle to put some space between them, fists clenched and voice snarling. "Just stop. It's not my fucking name." 

"What is your name, then? I'm Erwin."

Erwin's tone was kind and patient, no malice or taunting hidden inside the query and the response was to stand dumbfounded, mind blank and strained. 

"It's…well it's…" What the fuck was it? What's my name? "It's…" 

"Levi, you are fifty miles from home. You took my papers and left." 

"Your…your papers?" Flashing images sprung up, the written instructions recalled. "That was you?" 

"Yes." 

'Levi' chewed over the new information, remembered what the friendly script had said. It was a list to follow to the letter, something he'd taken perhaps as a last act of self preservation and he started to shuffle closer to Erwin again, needed protection from the world which was crashing down around him in splashes of murky greys. The note had been very thorough though - what to tattoo and where, incredibly detailed in fact and his heckles were raised again. 

"Did…did I not get a say in this?" He held his hand up, the inky bloody skin beneath taught film already starting to swell. "Who the fuck does that?" 

"Levi, you told me what to write." 

The silence was deafening, passing traffic blotted out with ease as he struggled to come to terms with this, the lack of anything else tangible making Erwin's suggestion much more plausible. He'd been so sure…so so sure…and now nothing was real. He looked at the stained flesh again, four letters imprinted forever and he said them once, twice, ten times. 

"Levi…" 

Erwin waited, in no hurry, capable of talking Levi off a ledge now and he smiled, taking a small wallet-like folder from his jacket pocket. He sifted through, picking one particular page and the photo was shown to Levi, one of the man himself leaning against this very car next to Erwin. 

"That was last year. When we got the car. It rained just after this got taken. Ruined the wax job we'd had done. You got soaked and trailed wet drops all inside the house and…"

"…I blamed you." Levi finished the story off with a mumble and snapped his gaze up, asking for help with his watery eyes but saying something less extreme. "Take me home, Erwin."

He had no idea where home was but being inside the car was a kind of salvation, the smell of Erwin breaking down some muddled walls and Levi stared out the window, watched foreign streets fly by. Levi reached out, fingers wandering to find Erwin's hand and he clutched tightly, finding an anchor in this otherwise stormy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone mentioned Memento to me when I'd started writing this as a crack fic and then this happened


	10. Hangover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For tumblr prompt of the same name from kittyboo xxx

It was some ungodly hour no doubt, internal body clocks working on auto-pilot regardless of what they'd been through last night. The sheets stirred, material rubbing against bare skin, the smell of overindulgence filling their bedroom with no way to escape. A storm raged outside, wind and rain drumming harshly at the closed windows, battering the house and Erwin moved first, bleary eyes seeking out the time on a red digital display. 

"Oh god…" 

He flopped back down, face buried in the soft pillow and Erwin curled the sides around his ears, held it tight to stem the steady throbbing in his head. Levi shifted, cold toes jabbing into Erwin's thigh as he uncurled himself and stretched sideways, lids practically glued shut. 

"How bad is it?" 

Levi's voice was thick with sleep and his face felt puffy, the taste in his mouth resembling a brewery and he waited for Erwin's depressing revelation.

"Six twenty three." 

"Oh fuck, no." 

His whine was too loud, far too loud and Erwin winced, temples pulsing in a rhythmic beat.

"I know." 

They lay in quiet reflection, internally cursing the hideous amount of alcohol consumed between them at the party and Levi sighed heavily, pure liquor blown into the atmosphere. Both tried to get back to sleep as the minutes ticked past, snatches of slumber attained but only for a tiny moment and they drifted from one realm to the next, twitching and jumping out of semi dreams, whiskey-fuelled rest being sketchy at best. 

Erwin flinched, dragged out of another make believe world which felt so real, so solid and he gingerly turned his head to look at Levi, peeking over the bundle of covers to the placid face beside him. Even with the mussy hair and unflattering position openmouthed on his back, Levi shone bright in the dim bedroom, a beautiful image to behold and Erwin momentarily forgot about his hangover, the sordid dream emblazoned on his mind.

He reached out his hand, running light touches down Levi's side to his hip, finger tips tracing around the bumps and juts of hard bone, travelling further to sample the softer flesh at Levi's lower stomach. It was warm, supple and homely and Erwin managed to move his aching body, curling to rest his cheek on Levi's hot belly. His head lifted and dropped with each breath, soothing motions rocking him into serenity and Erwin gazed down, the dark fuzz of Levi's hair leading to where he'd just been dreaming of. 

Erwin smiled, palm sliding over coarse strands and he stroked down the docile length of Levi's cock, gently and with purpose. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" 

The deep tone startled Erwin but he didn't stop, simply grinned wider. 

"You know what they say is a good cure for a hangover?" 

"Mmff." Levi still couldn't open his swollen eyes and flapped lazily at Erwin's shoulder, whispery puffs of breath sweeping over his groin. "What cure?" 

There was no response, just the continuing rubs below and Levi bit his lip, half way between wanting to pass out and needing to allow whatever Erwin was planning. The latter won and Levi grew harder, Erwin's fist now working slowly with sleepy passes and he whimpered, arm thrown over his forehead, Levi's pain turning to pleasure. 

"See? It's effective, yes?" 

"Erwin…I fucking stink." 

"So do I." 

Moist lips took Levi with attentive care, minimally at first, exploring and savouring. Erwin hummed in satisfaction, soon becoming eager and he let his own lids close, head bobbing in a determined pace. 

"Erwin…fuck…" 

Levi lay still, unable to move and he became enveloped by brilliant tranquility, exquisitely dirty noises emanating from Erwin's now looser mouth as the more capable of the two brought his husband to the brink expertly, eased all of Levi's aches away to the soundtrack of complete release. Croaked groans and a mumble signalled Levi's climax, panted cries following and he finally opened his eyes, head up and staring to the jolting flash of blonde hair at his crotch while Erwin took all he could, one single errant drip seeping from his smile. 

"Jesus Erwin…holy…holy shit…" 

Levi collapsed back again, breathless and slightly surprised as Erwin appeared in his line of sight, dopey grin looming close. 

"Better?" 

"Oh ffffffuck yes."

"Good." Erwin licked at his lip, causing a final moan of lust from Levi and they cuddled up together, a mess of limbs and sweat. "You can thank me later."

"Yea…I will…"

Levi had already fallen into sleep, a calmer look on his face now and Erwin nuzzled in, holding his husband with love and affection as he too slipped away into solid slumber.


	11. Habits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the tumblr prompt - Levi playing with Erwin's hair

Curling up on the sofa with a good book, or trashy TV show in Erwin's case, was one of their favourite pastimes, a togetherness which couldn't be attained anywhere else. Peace and restful company after a filling meal had become habitual, the pair gravitating towards their couch once the dishwasher had been loaded, overstuffed pillows creating a nest of comfort. 

Another habit appeared to have grown over time, one which Erwin never mentioned and Levi probably didn't even realise he was doing, a creature of so many routines and compulsions that a new one hadn't caused any surprise. Erwin lay prone on his back, head and shoulders cradled in Levi's upright body where the smaller of the pair sat cross-legged against a mountain of cushions, book in his left hand and thin brows furrowed. 

He was clearly engrossed, lips pressing together occasionally and jaw working in random spasms. Silver eyes ate up the words eagerly, background noise from the raucous game show not even registering on Levi's radar and he paused, page turned swiftly and right hand back in place. Levi carded through blonde locks, letting his fingers stroke and fiddle without much method - nails scratched lightly, hair was smoothed back from Erwin's forehead, strands were twirled and fussed with. 

Levi's exploration always ended near Erwin's ear, final touches curling behind it before he would sigh, close his book with a dramatic yawn to signal bedtime. Erwin always complied. 

It had been the same for weeks, give or take the odd occasion where one would work late or social events demanded their presence, but otherwise they played out sedate evenings in a similar fashion. Only tonight did that veer slightly off course and Levi frowned, staring up at Erwin as they stood brushing their teeth, his slightly confused gaze travelling to Erwin's tufty appearance. 

"Why is your hair so fucking messy?" 

Erwin shook his head kindly and rushed through the mouthwash stage, spitting with precision before throwing an arm around Levi's pyjama-clad shoulders, squeezing him sideways for a hug and smiling into the mirror. 

"I don't know. I rather like it, though." 

"Why? You look homeless." 

Levi smirked and walked to bed, thinking about nothing but curling up against Erwin's chest and his husband followed, muttering quietly. 

"I always feel at home when I'm with you."


	12. Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt "I know we're friends but, will you pretend to be my date?"

"I know we're friends but…"

Levi zoned out on the rest of that request, one acidic word making his skin crawl with need. It was surprising that he hadn't torn his flesh to shreds by now, used dull nails to rip himself apart every single time he had to look at Erwin. Erwin. His best friend. His everything. The man he adored so fucking much that it hurt all the way from Levi's back teeth down to his heels. 

Friends. Such a crass tag for what they were. 

Or at least in Levi's opinion, anyway. He stood in his dorm room packing up the last remnants of college life, no more pictures, a few personal effects remaining and he stuffed a fistful of half-chewed pencils into the trash bag a little too violently, one sharp lead piercing Levi's palm. The bright pain dulled his other ache and he concentrated on the small bead of crimson, let it grow to become too large to contain itself before spilling the red liquid down in a thin trail. 

Erwin's voice vaguely broke through and Levi looked up, finally acknowledging his presence. 

"Did…did you hear me, Levi?" 

"No." 

It seemed that the flame Levi carried for Erwin also held a dampening mechanism, years of companionship muted by rudeness and Levi used it to protect himself, kept his heart from being mangled. 

"Oh. Well, I said that…" Erwin fidgeted and fussed, sensible clothing messed with and he resented having to speak it again, the adrenaline now wearing off to leave fear in it's wake. "We're friends, right?" 

"Yes, Erwin." 

Friends. 

"…could you, um. I mean…" 

"What is it?" Levi spat the question out and instantly regretted it, the end of their education together after all these years making him spikier than usual and he sighed, leaning one elbow on the counter with apology in his gaze and a softer tone. "You can ask me anything, you idiot." 

Erwin smiled, fake happiness stretched across his face and he gulped, dreading what his next utterance could do to them. 

"Could you pretend to be my date tonight?" 

If a pin dropped now they would both have been able to hear it without a doubt, icy silence crackling through the atmosphere. Steely eyes drilled into Erwin's skull, bright and seething and he felt a cold sweat springing up on his forehead, sure that it had come out all wrong. Levi wanted to bite something, punch a hole through the paper-thin wall, scream until his lungs could offer no more, anything but stand here and listen to such a depressing request. 

Erwin's open and good natured face doused the flames of Levi's wrath though, the expression of a wounded dog staring back at him and he slumped, body curling slightly in on itself as unwavering loyalty answered. 

"Sure. Whatever you need, Erwin." 

~~~~~~

They'd been to dinner, a fancy one at that, shared drinks in a bar and strolled along the banks of their city's river, starlight twinkling above to join them. Levi had enjoyed himself, experiencing a slice of what life could be, the prize he so desired yet he hadn't the balls to say anything about it, petrified of losing the one person he needed. Erwin had been perfect of course; polite, kind and attentive, a date to remember. 

It all left Levi a little confused as they arrived back at their dorm for the last time, stairs climbed and adjoining rooms finally reached. Erwin paused, lingering on the threshold with a blush. 

"You coming in or what?" 

Levi's brusque attitude made Erwim smile, his feet following inside as usual, shoes kicked off - they rarely separated, often not even to sleep and he glanced around at the sparse interior, nothing much remaining but furniture and fittings. 

The two danced around the glaringly obvious, beers swigged on the tiny couch and looking anywhere but each other. They avoided discussing their enjoyable if odd evening at first, niggling annoyance getting the better of Levi first. 

"What was that, Erwin?" 

"Hmm?"

"That. Pretending to be your date. What the fuck for?" 

Erwin picked at the label on his bottle, eyes trained on the floor and he swallowed, about to explain his earlier mistake. He never lifted his gaze, spoke into his beer and rushed it out in a crash of words. 

"When I asked you before, I meant to say 'could you be my date tonight.' Not 'pretend to be.' I got scared." 

"You…you got scared?" Levi didn't quite want to believe what was being said, nerves on high alert. "Scared of what?" 

"Of you saying no." 

"So…" Levi stared openly at the side of Erwin's face, Erwin's insanely red face, mouth working like a fish out of water until speech returned. "So you wanted to ask me on a date?"

"Yes." 

"But you didn't know if I'd say yes?" 

"Mm hmm." 

"So you pretended that it was a fake date?" 

"Pretty much, Levi. One thing I admire about you is your trust."

"My trust? I know you always have a good reason for doing shit. I never question it. So…" Realisation dawned, hitting Levi like a bucket of water to the face. "Of course I would have agreed. To help you out." 

"Exactly." 

Levi laughed, quiet chuckles accompanying his trembling shoulders and he shook his head.

"You're a fucking idiot, Erwin." 

They both smiled at the situation, at the ridiculous way in which Erwin had ensured the date would occur and the pair returned to a more comfortable silence. Levi looked down at Erwin's socks, moving his own foot over to nudge gently against Erwin's toes. 

"I would've said yes, by the way." 

"Yea?" 

"Yea." 

Erwin nudged back and the prospect of living life in the big bad world no longer seemed such a daunting one, both ready to move on and face what may come. Together.


	13. Dinner Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt of the same name. Canonverse woo!

Candles burned bright, still in their infancy and Erwin wondered how far down the wicks would get tonight. Usually he would snuff the flickering glow just before it was lost in the final stub of wax, often turning to light another in the dead of night. 

Today was different though. No work. Of course he'd finished it all early, never one to leave things outstanding and he rubbed at his inky fingers, trying to erase the signs of frantic scribbling and almost endless signatures, the usual cramps taking hold. It wouldn't do to have dirty hands today. 

Erwin washed up in cold water, checked his desk for the hundredth time, eyes scanning over the items to ensure they were perfectly placed. Which they were. They were the last time he looked too, but Erwin had a nervous churning in his stomach that required an answer so he complied, glancing every so often to avoid another kind of anxiety. 

A light tapping at his door made Erwin jump and he grinned, probably a little bit maniacally so he toned it down, cheeks less wide and teeth no longer on show. The delicate knock could only belong to one person, a recognisable sound which Erwin had become in tune with - he was able to gauge what mood Levi was in by his knuckles alone, could adjust his own behaviour depending on the look in Levi's eyes, his stance, how far down his shoulders had slumped. 

Erwin opened the door slowly so as not to send a draught to the candles, a gentle smile meeting tired grey. 

"Long day, Levi?" 

"You know it was." Levi studied Erwin, found fatigue etched into weary lines but also a lively sparkle in blue eyes, reading the man as clearly as he could be viewed in return. "What have you done?"

"Me? Oh nothing." 

There was a child-like mischief about Erwin, something Levi had only seen once before and it sent an excruciating heat through his veins, the sensation taking up residence in Levi's stomach, rolling and lurching. He wanted it to stop, however he also craved more. 

Levi tutted and swept inside, boots clicking on the hard floor as he avoided being seen, hiding in the shadows to mask the blush which rose rapidly on his pale cheeks. 

That's when he saw the reason for Erwin's odd behaviour, breath catching in his throat. The desk usually occupied by papers and ink wells was covered in a blanket, topped by an array of foods. They were mostly standard-issue, nothing out of the ordinary, a bottle of wine easy enough to come by, however something about the presentation and care hit Levi's emotions harder than anything he'd experienced. 

Every day he stood by his Commander's side, rode to his right during missions, spent evenings in this very room, countless hours together which he viewed as enough. Levi knew that in this life, to have such companionship was precious so he never really begrudged not being anything more, told himself that to be able to sit opposite Erwin as the candles melted away night after night was sufficient. 

Levi couldn't help but wish, though. The dreams of a madman, perhaps...either way, the yearning in his bones told the truth more than Levi's own mind did. 

Erwin fussed and shuffled around, metal lids removed from containers and plates set correctly, one candle in the middle and he straightened, arm out to invite Levi into the chair. 

"Shall we?" 

He might have seemed collected on the outside but Erwin was far from calm. His fingers buzzed, left leg jiggling up and down without him realising, heart in his mouth. This had been planned for weeks, no months, but he always put it off, found an excuse to shelve the idea as laughable and crawl back into his well-crafted shell. The sheer volume of death notifications this week had changed his decision. 

So now Erwin found himself more afraid than when facing open jaws of terror, completely out of his comfort zone and stripped bare, sure that Levi would see through to his intentions. Wasn't that the point, though? Nobody else had even come close to the amount of trust and faith he had in Levi, feelings that naturally had led to much much more, feelings that he couldn't fathom. Sometimes you just had to see, he decided. Jump in head first and hope to surface on the other side. 

Erwin was being watched, Levi's gaze narrow as he circled the desk, flopping down as if this was a normal evening but the slight stiffness to his posture screamed in Erwin's ears. Cautious. Ready to bolt. Confused. 

He sat too, passing food across to Levi in as nonchalant a way as he could muster and Erwin poured two glasses of wine, holding his up and thanking the walls when Levi matched the gesture.

"To living another day." 

Erwin was about to take a drink, a long fucking drink when Levi placed his wine delicately back on the wood, arms crossed. They paused, staring with unbroken contact and Levi jutted his chin out, motioning to the small feast. 

"Bullshit." 

"I don't know what you mean, Levi…" 

"I said bullshit. This dinner party isn't about living another day. That's every fucking day." 

The way he spoke each word caused a stir in Erwin's core, Levi's sarcastic delivery not quite overshadowing the real message and he smiled, raising his glass once more. Levi followed, silent vows crossing between the two and their eyes softened, unnoticeable changes to anyone else but they knew, they knew one another inside and out and they knew what this was. 

Their meal was shared in quiet reverence, occasional discussions held and glances caught like young lovers. Neither said anything direct, they didn't have to. Behaviour and body language yelled for them instead. 

Levi didn't know how much time had passed but he could see Erwin's exhaustion, needed to get him to sleep even for a few hours - this happened frequently, shouts and curses ordering Erwin to bed at least once a week yet that tact seemed unacceptable now and Levi stood, walking slowly round to stand behind his companion. 

Erwin closed his eyes, allowing the peaceful evening to continue in whichever way Levi decided. He'd made the first step, opened that gate. It was Levi's turn to answer. 

A hand far more gentle than imagined landed like feathers on Erwin's cheek and he sighed, too loud to go astray but Levi didn't comment, simply held his touch, thumb on the nape of Erwin's neck. He rubbed up and down in tiny sweeps, trembling fingers finding their place tentatively as Levi felt the weight of Erwin melt into him, relaxing back into his small hold. 

They eventually came to a rest, the Commander's head on Levi's shirt and Erwin reached up, his own hand covering a petite one. 

This was better than sleep, more rejuvenating than twelve solid hours of slumber and Levi smiled broadly, the ache in his chest swelling as he let his face drop down, nose ghosting against blonde hair. 

The candle light dwindled, burnt to the base but they didn't notice.


	14. Favourite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt - Erwin's favourite mug. With a visual! 
> 
> https://zedsdead1001.tumblr.com/post/165518651545/erwins-favorite-mug

One mug sat proudly in the kitchen cupboard, one never to be used apart from on special occasions. It gleamed in the light when Erwin opened the wooden cabinet, pristine and splendid, porcelain shining back down at him. He kept it on the top shelf, intentionally from Levi’s reach and Erwin brought it out with holy respect, cradling his pride and joy like a new born baby.

The coffee machine did it’s work quickly, sending a delicious beverage into the cup, a drink to be enjoyed as a post-dinner treat. Erwin gathered the other two mugs, delivering them to the front room with adrenaline pumping throughout his body. It was going to be good. He knew it.

Blue eyes kept watch, Erwin perched on an arm of the sofa as his excitement wouldn’t allow him to relax, shots of anticipation jolting him every time Mike took another sip. Erwin barely kept up with the conversation, nodding and grinning where he thought he should.

Levi didn’t even bother to conceal his tired disdain, glaring over at his husband, dangerous silver trying to send a message - it’s stupid, it’s just a fucking mug, grow up. But, as always, Erwin just vibrated with childlike glee.

The moment arrived, the blessed moment of truth and Erwin leaned forwards, practically on Mike’s lap and close to drooling. Levi sighed, arms crossed and he rolled his eyes when Erwin started to cackle, hands slapping against his thick thighs with hilarity.

Mike stared into the cup, moustache twitching and he frowned down, looking darkly in at the last dregs of his coffee. Erwin stilled, held his breath whilst he waited for the full reaction, eyes wide and grin stretched across his face. A rumble started in Mike’s chest, his body moving strangely before he let out a peal of deep laughter, joined instantly by Erwin as they nudged one another with jovial good nature.

“Oh for the love of god, it’s not even fucking funny.” Levi left the pair to it, snatching their mugs away to place them in the sink and he glanced down, the sound of chuckles following him out of the room as he shouted above their juvenile cries. “Your fucking sense of humour is basically Dad jokes, you know that?”

That set the two off even more, snorts of laughter chasing Levi away and he was glad to have his back to them - he couldn’t ever let Erwin see his smile, the painted words at the bottom of the cup staring up. ‘You’ve been poisoned’.

“So fucking childish.”

Levi’s own huffed amusement was luckily unheard and he treated the mug with attentive care, preserving Erwin’s possession as if it were his own.


	15. Skype

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr Prompt - long distance Skype.

A black screen stared back at Levi, the shuffles and clunks coming through his headset suggesting life on the other end of the connection and he rested his head on one palm, waiting patiently. They'd organised the time in advance, purposefully set their lives up around it and Levi had woken from sleep to talk. Not that he minded. He'd move fucking mountains to see Erwin's face and hear his voice, two days of just texting doing absolutely nothing to quash the feeling of desolation. 

The call had come through early though, earlier than scheduled and Levi could hear the sound of humming, something which Erwin only did whilst…

Cleaning. He was cleaning. Probably pressed the button unintentionally during the clear-up. 

A small smile tugged at Levi's lips and he shook his head, listened as he imagined his husband prepping the area to appear neat and tidy in Levi's absence. He'd be gone for a month, across oceans and miles away on business, miles away from Erwin and Levi sighed, soaking up the domestic normality filtering into his ear. 

A flourish of activity revealed Erwin, what appeared to be a cloth having been knocked from the laptop and Levi stifled a laugh at the vision awaiting him. Erwin had his back to the camera, ass out as he scrubbed at their wooden bookshelves, large and full-screen for Levi's pleasure. Grey eyes twinkled in the night, memories recalled of all the times he'd been able to fucking worship that man…each sweaty encounter, Levi's lips devouring supple flesh, Erwin's calls of ecstasy as Levi made him come again and again, knuckle-deep inside…

Krispy Cremes. Pizza Hut. KFC. 

The little finger which Levi unconsciously held in his mouth dropped out, palm slapping the table and he sat up straight, mouth a thin line and glare thunderous as he spotted the heap of trash to one side, moved out of sight but not far enough. Levi hoped the speakers were on at the other end and he drew breath, ready to blow. 

"Erwin!" 

The speakers were on. Erwin spun in shock, his frightened and guilty expression looming close where he stood still hunched over. 

"Levi! H-Hi! How are…"

"Don't. Just don't." He leaned in, eyes hooded and dark. "I've been here two days, Erwin. Two days and already our study looks like a fucking student's dorm room?" 

"I can explain!" 

"Explain to me when your cholesterol is through the roof and your blood sugar spikes." Levi softened slightly, resting back as he watched Erwin slink into the chair, timid and apologetic. "I worry." 

"I know. I'm sorry. I just miss you, Levi." 

Erwin held his hand up, stroking the screen in tiny gestures of loneliness and Levi did the same, tracing a jaw, nose, hairline. Erwin's comfort eating materialised in times of stress or upset, something which gave Levi both a surge of love at being missed and a pang of regret for being absent. 

"Miss you too." 

They explored one another's pixelated faces for a while in silence, showed emotion through the soundless actions. Touch without contact. It was the best they'd get right now and the pair made the most of what could be attained.


	16. Truth Or Dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt of the same name :) Teen-eruris coming atcha

"Fuck off." 

"Oh come on Levi, it's a bit of fun!" 

Hange poked him in the thigh, a glare the only correct response as the group of friends all sat huddled together, their evening having brought them to an old shack nestled in the forest outskirts. Underage drinking, borderline stupidity and tiresome games was usually the order of the day, typical teenage behaviour which sometimes made Levi wonder what he was even doing here. 

He swigged back on the beer, sourly regarding Hange once more. 

"I said no."

"You scared?"

"That shit doesn't work on me." 

Levi wriggled his toes inside battered sneakers, knees up and chin resting down on them while he tried to block out the taunting chants from his so-called friends. Despite his assurance that peer pressure had zero effect, Levi found his nerves jangling with every call of 'scaredy cat' and 'chicken', fingers digging into his own flesh in silent protest. In the end the shouts won, Levi's vicious hiss halting any other voice. 

"Alright fine, fuck the lot of you. Dare." 

"Why dare?" 

"Why would I fucking tell you anything about myself?" Laughter met the grumpy and erroneous question, the small group all well acquainted by now. "So just hurry the fuck up. What's my dare?" 

Hange grinned, teeth bared demonically and they clapped with glee, leaving Levi to wonder if 'truth' would've been the safer option. 

"Ok Levi. You know the river? At the other side of the woods?" 

"…yea?" 

Should have picked truth. 

"There's an apple tree. Go get us one each. That way we'll know you went there and back." 

Levi bit down the words he had spinning in his mind, 'in the dark?' and 'alone?' never exiting his mouth and he maintained a calm facade, standing with a huff through his nostrils. 

"Fine. Whatever." 

He slammed he door on his way out, the wooden hut shaking as much as Levi did and he crossed his arms, hugging himself against the cold night air. 

It wasn't far but the forest was black as pitch and filled with noises, foreign shuffles and sounds sending shivers across Levi's flesh and he picked up his pace, stumbling over roots and bushes. His foot caught on something, a creeper or plant which in daylight would look lush and green but now it lay dangerously in wait, ready to snare Levi's ankle and bring him down. 

If he fell, the dead leaves would surely envelop him. Turn his bones to mulch. Make him part of the foliage, never to be found again. 

Levi tripped and hopped in a circle, arms out for balance and he avoided a grisly demise this time, dense clouds blocking the moon and leaving him with pretty much no visibility at all. 

Which direction did he come from? Where was he headed? The near miss had caused Levi's internal compass to malfunction, no sense of reality remaining and he stopped, eyes closed as Levi strained to hear the babbling water. 

A snap to his left made him jump, adrenaline pumping and fists up. Could be a squirrel. A leaf. Could be an axe murderer. 

Levi decided against speaking and instead used the flight instinct, legs powering him towards what he hoped was the shack and safety.

Please. Please. Please…

The world started to go askew, inky trees suddenly on their side and Levi fell in slow motion, confused as to why the branches were that way round until he hit wet mud, all breath forced from his lungs and clothes instantly dirtied.

"Fuck!" 

His shock couldn't be contained and Levi kicked out wildly, on his back and now ready to fight whoever had brought him down. 

"Um…hello?" 

Levi paused, feet in the air and body still, the unexpected and soft greeting far from that of a blood thirsty killer. A light approached, mild and soothing. Flickering. A candle. Maybe a witch then? Cannibal? Vampire? Satanist…

"Wh-who's that? What do y-you want?" 

He cursed the stutter, teeth chattering in his head as the glow came closer, Levi's heart racing whilst he swiftly planned his escape. 

"I'm…oof!" 

The assailant bent in two, their lamp now clear as Levi's foot connected with something pulpy and exposed, hopefully right in the balls and he scrambled back, sitting up to inspect his attacker. 

"You…you go to my school..." 

The flash of dusty blonde was unmistakable and Levi felt instant remorse, an electric but empty sensation crawling in his stomach. In front of him, doubled up in pain, stood a student a few years older than himself, someone Levi had admired quietly from afar since probably his first day. Erwin. Erwin Smith. With his smiles and holding doors open and that aura of…thoughtfulness? 

Come to think of it, Levi had never seen Erwin hanging around with friends really. Satellite. That's what he was. Circling but never a part of the group. Polite but closed off. Lonely. Out in the void. 

And Levi would stare. Outright gape at Erwin when he was sure no one would see, his teenage hormones raging and twisting inside until one day Levi's observations slapped him in the face and became more than just a passing interest. His bedsheets had been painted white on more occasions than he'd care to admit to, face buried in a pillow, ass up, always with one person on his mind. Erwin Smith. 

And now here he was, in agony and groaning at the assault. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry." Levi got to his feet, the mud now a distant memory as he approached with timid steps, cheeks burning as if Erwin could read his inappropriate thoughts. "I though you were…hold on." 

"Mmm?" 

Erwin couldn't manage more than that squeak, lips pressed tightly together, the other person here still currently anonymous. 

"Why the fuck are you out here? With a fucking lamp?" 

Levi. Only one individual's tone held such a malicious yet guarded lilt and Erwin froze, hand cupping his crotch and face on fire. Of all the people, it had to be Levi. The kid at school who did strange things to his belly whenever they were close. Erwin had seen Levi looking and obtained a deep sense of pride at having caught his gaze, those studious smokey eyes emblazoned on Erwin's retinas when he lay alone at night, hand down his pyjama shorts and breath coming in panted rasps. 

Erwin coughed, the waves of agony abating somewhat and he straightened, glad to have darkness to help hide his blush. 

"I…" Erwin decided to be honest. Tell the truth and make this pure. "I come here sometimes. To read. And think." 

Levi regarded him with initial caution, his stare softening as he saw defiant sorrow in Erwin's eyes and he nodded once, satisfied with the reason.

"Ok." 

That reaction took Erwin aback - he'd been ready to argue against accusations of being a weirdo, a fuck-up, strange…all things which most teens would throw at this behaviour, but not Levi. A shared glance spoke volumes as understanding passed between them, Erwin's turn for questions arriving with a smirk as he tried out foul language. 

"Why the fuck are YOU out here?" 

A snort of laughter sprung from Levi's mouth, taking him by surprise and he stepped forwards, shivers now not only due to the damp atmosphere. 

"Apples. Truth or Dare." 

"Ahhh. Well, I know just where you need to go. Want me to show you?" 

"Yea, sure." 

When Levi returned an hour and a half later, Hange nearly toppled him over with a fierce hug, the group applauding the hero's triumph. It soon turned to confusion, a plastic bag full of snacks dropped to the floor along with a selection of apples. 

"What...where…?" 

Levi sniffed, pulling his hoodie up slightly at the shoulders, shrugging nonchalantly at Hange's stupor. As it turned out, Erwin didn't just visit the woods to think. He also had a stash of candy. 

"Funny what you can find in the forest. Now can we fucking go home, its cold." 

As he turned to storm away, Hange didn't fail to notice the purple hickey shining on Levi's neck.


	17. Candy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt - Prompt! Erwin is searching the web when he comes across an article about pop-rocks and pleasing your significant other.

Boring. Seen it. Not interested. 

Erwin sighed and leaned wearily into his palm, squishing his cheek and squeezing one eye shut. For three hours he'd been sat trawling the internet, empty candy wrappers and now cold coffee surrounding his workspace. When Levi worked late, this was what happened to Erwin - a pointless search for something random, no true mission in mind. 

Now and again he'd find a gem, an absolute treasure of a You Tube video or Yahoo answers post, but tonight his prize eluded him. Nothing of note, not even a funny news item. Fuck all. 

Another heavy sigh joined his next click and Erwin found himself on a forum of questionable repute, all the users claiming to have achieved the perfect sex life. Most of it was old information, nothing new to Erwin and he tutted at the exaggerated boasts, rolled his eyes at ridiculous suggestions. 

One thread piqued Erwin's interest though and he got closer to the laptop screen, reading all the feedback and positive reviews…

"I've got some in the cupboard."

He spoke out loud in the quiet house, skin flushing slightly at the thought and he licked his lips, nervously deciding to give this one a try. Tonight. 

As it transpired, Levi was far from being in the mood when he returned home, three hours of overtime with vacant-minded fools leaving him with nothing but the desire to kick back with some (a bottle) of wine and reruns of his favourite documentary (Family Guy). But Erwin had been attentive. Loving. Poured them drinks. Rubbed Levi's throbbing feet and planted light kisses on his strained neck. He was on point. 

Later into the evening, Levi laid back on their bed and let Erwin continue his adoration, slightly bemused at the reasons why, however Levi was enjoying himself immensely. It had been a while since they truly took the time to explore one another, really immerse themselves in pleasure. The older they grew, the more hurried their encounters became - tired from work, up early in the morning, just generally worn down by life. 

So to have such intimacy made Levi's heart flutter as it did when they first met, his toes curling and ragged soul soothed by gentle laps of Erwin's tongue. 

He hadn't taken Levi fully in yet, teased at the tip and ran trails of saliva all over hard flesh, savouring the taste of his husband. It was maddeningly arousing, Levi's resolve close to breaking and he heard the sound of a something being opened, convinced that a step-up in proceedings was on the way. 

Levi gave a deep moan as finally, finally he felt himself being swallowed down, sure that Erwin would soon start to open him up slowly like he used to, patiently and with a sensual rhythm. 

But he didn't. 

What happened instead was the most bizarre and disjointed sensation that Levi had ever experienced, tingling crackles spreading across his cock and he yelled, shocked out of his blurry ecstacy and sitting up. 

"Erwin what the fuck?" 

Erwin didn't stop though. Levi didn't stop him either, simply flopped back to the mattress and thrust upward with his hips in tiny jolts, eyes wide and mouth slack. 

"Holy fuck…ho-ohhhhh." 

Levi had no idea what Erwin had used, or why, or if this would cause him any problems later on down the line but for now he didn't give a shit, allowed Erwin to drive him crazy with this new technique and when Levi came hard and fast down Erwin's throat, he swore he could hear the satisfied sounds which his husband usually only made when eating candy.


	18. Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For erwin week day 5 'Emotions' prompt

A closed book. Carefully guarded. Unreadable. Emotionless.

 

Erwin had been called many things in his time, was well aware that his youthful exuberance had been locked up and dampened by the countless losses and deaths on his watch. Life called for its debt eventually, always did, taking away Erwin’s soul piece by piece as a payment for his sins.

 

And he paid dearly.

 

Nights ran into days, ink scratched on paper, candles burnt to the base whilst Erwin himself slipped away with the smokey curls left behind, nothing but a ghostly shell of a man who seemingly no longer possessed any emotions.

 

But he did, he truly did, however Erwin couldn’t act upon those feelings, remained upright and proper in the presence of all others. It became increasingly difficult though, and not just from the pain of keeping his fears and sorrows bottled up to the point of spiralling depression. What Erwin found the hardest was to stay passive around one particular person, another who also barely allowed the world inside of his carefully honed walls.

 

They played a game of pretence, navigating each other with calculated precision and warm familiarity, never prying deeper despite knowing that both had the volatile potential to crumble at any time. And Erwin swore that he wouldn’t crumble, owed as much to his soldiers, his comrades, to Levi.

 

Countless moments alone had seen Erwin sobbing openly, hands wrenching at stiff bed sheets as he asked why; why was the world such a cruel place, why did he feel the need to take on everything and leave no outlet, why couldn’t he let his emotions win just one time? Just one touch, one embrace, one chance to truly share himself with someone he understood, someone he trusted and admired greatly.

 

Erwin never answered these questions, stashed them in a box and forbade them to come to the surface. He let his fingers brush against Levi’s shoulder sometimes, the tips almost burning as Erwin committed the sensation to memory, yet another thing to dwell upon in the dead of night. He would breathe in the comforting smell of soap and tea as they sat together, getting as close as he dared, Levi’s personal space invaded on more than one occasion.

 

But he couldn’t go further. Should Erwin allow his true feelings to dictate his actions, all that he’d achieve would be to put Levi at risk. Cloud his sharp judgement. Give him a reason to look back when he should be concentrating ahead and this weighty knowledge beat Erwin down on a daily basis, smothered his heart and ground it to dust. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Shouldn’t.

 

Those words began to dissolve with time.

 

Erwin was strong on the battlefield, commanding before his subordinates, but fucking breaking in front of Levi and he had little say in the matter, each demise and defeat stabbing deeply until all that Erwin had left was darkness, a speck of light shining in the form of one man.

 

Levi would take care of him in his own way, listened to soundless woes - they didn’t need to speak, simply sat in one another’s company with solemn expressions. Tea was brought, papers neatly stacked, tiny little shows of what Levi counted as affection building up and bringing Erwin’s resolve further down.

 

It happened one night, inevitable as death itself and Erwin hated himself even more for stealing that kiss, for dooming them to heartache.

 

It happened again, hands searching and lips tentative, leaving Erwin spinning through an emotional storm. It happened. They happened, as perfect as anything in this life could be but so so flawed.

 

Levi’s hips felt just like he’d imagined them to be, muscular legs around Erwin’s waist pulling him in over and over again and salty tears mixed with sweat, their bodies worn and souls broken. Perhaps this could fix it, his chasm of loss filled by care and attention, by love, by another.

 

Even if Levi could stem the yearning and help him to forget for a few hours, that would be enough.


	19. Headcanon

Eruri headcanon in which they have been on a few dates, got to know each other, had a lovely meal tonight and now they’re back at Levi’s apartment, Erwin’s pants round his ankles as he sits on the bed. Levi is on his knees, mouth searching Erwin’s chest, abs, hips, the little lumps of over-indulgence that Erwin was afraid of revealing, only to find that Levi loves them.

Small fingers dig into his waist, needy and starved as Levi bites ever so gently at Erwin’s side, his mind foggy with lust.

As Levi travels further towards what he wants, what he’ll have, he mumbles against Erwin’s belly, warm and soft and apparently ticklish.

“Is there anything I should know about…umm…” He doesn’t want to break the mood, but Levi has to ask about sexual health in the most diplomatic way possible before swallowing Erwin whole. “Umm..about your medical conditions?”

Erwin’s seeing stars now, his eyes shut and jaw slack and Levi’s hot breath is on his cock, tongue nearly there too, wet, burning, ready…and Erwin sighs, answering truthfully but totally missing the point.

“Yea…I’m lactose intolerant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes to add that no, Erwin did not consume dairy at dinner....


	20. Secret Santa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the eruriweek secret santa exchange 2017, canonverse post ACWNR. Hurt/comfort/angst/softness.

Not even the warmth and comforting crackles from the hearth could lift the dull ache which throbbed throughout Erwin’s office, each loss pressing down and reverberating with every breath he drew. These breaths were stolen, merely borrowed without permission. He didn’t deserve to fill his lungs any more than those who no longer could. 

But here he sat. Alive. Death left wanting yet again. 

Those icy hands had lain around his throat on countless occasions, but somehow Erwin always came back home, lighter than he’d been in terms of comrades, heavier in his soul. 

He asked himself over and over, ink scribbling constantly along with his thoughts - why? Why do I get to live? Why should I be here when they are not?

The pen wrote name upon name, genuine sorrow etched into Erwin’s condolences. His hand cramped, vaguely blood-stained fingers protesting at such an onslaught but he wouldn’t stop. Not until they’d all been commemorated in some way.

Midnight had come and gone long ago, the veils of fatigue slipping over Erwin’s eyes and he rubbed the sticky blur away, cold tea gulped down with a grimace. Only a few more. Then he could…what? Sleep was not an option, not now. Perhaps Erwin would never have a solid slumber again, destined to forever wake after an hour of broken nightmares.

It was all he deserved, after all.

Erwin didn’t allow himself any comforts or respite, took his new role as Commander to heart and as he signed the last death notice, the consequences of his actions lay bare before him. So many people. So many of his subordinates.

If Erwin had noticed a pattern he wouldn’t admit to it, not even to his own brain so when Levi crept in quietly, Erwin’s reaction was to appear steady on the outside, a smile cracking over his face.

“Ah, Levi. What brings you here so late?”

Levi closed the door, a soft click denoting privacy and he stared over with his standard scowl. A quick appraisal of the situation took place, grey eyes flicking this way and that. To say Levi was observant was a massive understatement and he prowled closer, as near as he could be without raising his heart rate.

“You haven’t bathed.”

Damp black hair and casual clothing proved that as usual, Levi had spent a generous amount of time in the showers. Erwin noted red knuckles shining stark against the white shirt, proof of vigorous and likely over-zealous scrubbing. He was also observant.

“You’ve perhaps bathed a little too much.”

They stared at one another, not challenging anymore, not as they used to. This felt more like concern - unspoken, badly disguised concern.

Sometimes Levi would bring tea, or a book he thought Erwin might enjoy, a bowl of hot water and swabs, some expensive soap which smelt of lavender and rosemary. Erwin wondered if Levi also carried that scent on his skin, would his neck smell the same, warm and supple.

And today was no different. Levi set a vial of ointment gently onto the desk, soft cotton squares pulled from his back pocket and he stood resolute, his jaw strong.

“Where?”

Erwin blinked, momentarily lost in his imagination.

“What?”

“Where are you hurt?”

“I’m fine.” Again, that fake smile tried to betray reality and Erwin sat up straight. “Don’t worry.”

“Bullshit. Your face is grey and you’re sweating, Erwin. Tell me where.”

The dance never ended, an undercurrent of something else running beneath their every move and Levi took another step into Erwin’s orbit, dangerously close. Erwin laughed lightly, shaking his head and letting it hang down. There was no point in attempting to fool Levi.

“Ok, you win.” Wood upon wood, a slight shift backwards and Erwin’s chair moved effortlessly away from the desk, his uniformed body exposed. “My shoulder.”

Levi nodded once, brisk and business-like despite the fluttering in his chest. It was their ritual, a mutual tending-to which held silent emotion and he watched carefully as buttons were fumbled with, Erwin’s shaking hands telling a story all of their own.

“When did you last eat?”

His voice was rich, a tone reserved only for private conversation and Levi circled Erwin’s seated form, standing behind with his dry mouth feeling thirsty. A wincing shrug was his answer, mental note made to fetch what rations remained after Erwin had been taken care of. For Levi this was an essential routine; self-preservation had never been one of Erwin’s strong points, so the duty lay at his feet.

Bare flesh shone in the candle light, a blade having accidentally sliced Erwin’s body and Levi tightened his lips, finally placing his palms on burning skin. He travelled around the injury, tenderly massaging under the disguise of checking the affected area, fingertips searching for something. Levi had a reason to fight, but not just for humanity, no. He fought for this man, followed him to hell and back, defended Erwin fiercely and always would. His life and heart belonged to one person.

Erwin’s eyes slid shut as Levi’s exploration continued, small hands moving fluidly where they really didn’t have to, but he’d never stop this from happening. Selfish perhaps, needy definitely, yet Erwin had come to realise that this wasn’t just for his benefit. They healed a little during these shared moments, grew softer, deeper. Better.

Levi bowed his head, clean hair tickling over Erwin’s unblemished flesh and he blew cool air across the wound, a shiver racing down Erwin’s spine and grounding itself directly in the small of his back, bones and muscles moving instinctively to curl and stretch. He let a tiny sigh escape, the sound out there before he could help it but Levi made no mention, just carried on soothing.

“It might sting a little.”

Lev’s words washed over Erwin, breathy and tangible as Levi reached for the vial, his chest briefly pressed against Erwin’s back. He worked with sedate motions, in no hurry - his purpose wasn’t wholly medical. Levi had put Erwin back together on countless occasions, pulled him from spiralling despair using only his touch and whispered comments.

The sweeps of soaked fabric did indeed sting, however Erwin found solace in the pain. It meant he was real, here with Levi and the accusing voice in his head slowly drifted away, every death he’d just confirmed no longer all his to bear.

Once satisfied, Levi put the swabs to one side and inspected Erwin’s shoulder, face hanging centimetres away and lips begging to taste. Just one kiss, one chance to express himself…it wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

He snapped upright, banishing protective desire for the hundredth time and Levi drew a bandage from his other pocket, murmuring serenely.

“I need your shirt off.”

Erwin complied, aware of how this had to go and he slid the other arm out, let the ruined garment pool at his waist. The flames painted with their orange glow, lit up every contour and muscle, beautifully coloured Erwin’s physique in golden tones and if Levi hummed, neither commented on the fact.

“Hold it here.”

A fresh cotton pad was pressed against Erwin’s shoulder blade and he reached back, keeping it in place whilst Levi bound his ribs, winding the bandage round and round, arms circling and body close. He tied it off, fingers brushing past Erwin’s before stepping away to check his work.

Levi asked himself how long they could go on this way, how many more times he could bandage Erwin up, when would they become nothing but scars?

“You need a new shirt.”

He masked the internal musings with a grumble, pulling Erwin’s lacerated clothing away and balling it up. Levi could easily sew it shut, repair the gaping tear, but he opted for destruction instead. At least Erwin’s uniform should be whole, even if his body wasn’t.

A linen box sat in one corner, ready for instances just like this. Levi selected a simple white tshirt, more off-duty than a button down and he tossed it over, observing Erwin’s torso before it disappeared from view.

Silence passed by, eyes connected as Levi chewed on his bottom lip, brows knotted in worry and tone soft.

“You should be more careful. Could have lost a fucking arm. Then what would you do?”

“I suppose I’d manage, Levi.”

“Yea right.” Erwin’s mouth twitched in amusement at Levi’s gripes, waiting for the rest. “I’d be the one having to dress you and scratch your ass.”

Erwin wanted to ask if that would be so bad, the query becoming lodged in his throat as he noticed how Levi favoured putting weight on one leg and he repeated the same word back at the other man.

“Where?”

Levi sighed and rolled his eyes to keep the whimper of understanding at bay, walking back over with less force. No need pretending, not now that Erwin had been seen to. He dragged a chair beside Erwins, flopping down heavily.

“Ankle.”

“Again?”

“Yea. Landed bad.”

And so began the second part of their sacramental display, Levi’s leg lifted to drape across Erwin’s lap. Benevolent hands removed a shoe, then a sock, treating Levi as if he were made of glass. Erwin beat his own path of discovery, familiar ground covered yet it always seemed new, fluttering touches turning more solid.

He kneaded Levi’s foot, an unncessary action for some, an important one to them. Erwin didn’t look up, concentrated on the sole, thumbs working their magic and Levi croaked out an unexpected moan, his face instantly thunderous.

“Quit tickling me.”

Erwin’s smile was as warm as the embers close by, truly enlivened and he moved upwards, attentive.

“It’s swollen. Keep your weight off it a while.”

“Easier said than done.”

“That’s an order.” That’s when Erwin raised his gaze, saw gleaming silver and pink cheeks. “A request, Levi.”

“Fine.”

There wasn’t much more he could do so Erwin started his massage once again, getting into tight knots and revelling at how Levi’s small foot fit perfectly into his hand.

“It’s your weak spot.”

Erwin meant the ankle, or maybe he didn’t. The poorly disguised noises coming from Levi told him otherwise, intent on delivering pleasure to someone usually surrounded by death and fear. If they could provide a haven for one another, even just through the pretence of innocent concern, Erwin would take it gladly.

Levi’s foot buzzed contentedly, truly relaxed for the first time in months and he reclaimed his leg, not wanting to outstay his welcome.

“I’ll go. Let you rest.”

He pulled his sock and shoe on, jaw clenched against pain but as Levi went to stand, a grip to his arm halted any movement.

“Stay.”

Soundless conversation flashed between them, stares unflinching and Levi nodded.

As the sun began to rise, an unexpected snowfall coated the ground in a shroud of brilliant white, heavier flakes joining in to create a beautiful wintry scene, but neither Erwin nor Levi noticed. The last pieces of wood had succumbed to the fire, residual warmth contained within the office and Levi rested his head on Erwin’s unmarred shoulder, blonde hair spilling over his dark locks, both soldiers deep in a well needed sleep.


	21. Voices

There wasn’t much that could render Erwin speechless. His silver tongue effortlessly talked money from well-padded pockets, led soldiers into battle, lifted dampened spirits when all that remained was the decaying memory of corpses.

 

But the first time Erwin held Levi’s warm flesh close to his own, slowly filling him, lips touching lips, he couldn’t speak. As Erwin lay on his back, watching mesmerised at how Levi’s body moved beautifully above him, working fluid as water, he could do no more than worship mutely.

 

When Levi came strongly on their bellies, his deep wrecked voice like music to Erwin’s ears, he still found no words. The moment that Erwin let go seconds later inside of Levi, his fingers gripping tight to muscular hips, he managed nothing but moans.

 

Erwin stared rapt, his heavy eyes following each flick and flex as Levi cleaned them both gently before rejoining him on the bed. Levi looked over with a kind of soft reproach, the ever-present frown not reaching as far as his mouth today, cheeks unusually ruddy. They remained in silence that way, gazes locked and Erwin placed a shaking palm on Levi’s face, feeling a faint nudge back into his touch that set Erwin’s soul on fire.

 

Levi was pliant in his arms that night, uncharacteristically bending to Erwin’s nuzzles and feathery kisses, any tension and fight long gone. The normal ball of power and stoicism now melted against Erwin’s side, legs tangled in his. They’d shared their minds countless times before, after the candles had burnt down to leave nothing but deathly shadows, until the sun rose once again on another wretched day.

 

As Erwin ran his fingers lightly down Levi’s spine, little twitches and huffs of contentment were given in response and he realised they didn’t need words. They didn’t need voices anymore.


	22. Cuddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt 'you knocked at my door at one in the morning, to cuddle?' 
> 
> Canonverse drabble for @erwinsalive

It wasn’t quite morning, not quite the dead of night, time standing still in that small bubble before the break of dawn, a place where dreams seemed so lucid. Levi didn’t open his eyes at first, struggled past images of nightmarish ghouls with monstrous features, another good reason as to why he rarely found himself sleeping in a bed. He didn’t deserve the warm sunrise awaiting him, an inbuilt clock usually rousing Levi before the new day but something else had woken him. Something heavy. Something comforting.

Something that shouldn’t be there.

Levi froze, fully alert now that the pictures in his mind had been quickly chased away. He wasn’t alone in his quarters, the foreign sensation of an arm draped over his waist bearing down on Levi’s flesh like a boulder. A hand curled against his chest, loose and care-free, twitching occasionally at the fabric of his nightshirt. Levi’s unexpected comrade exhaled with steady deep huffs, tickling at his hair, bathing his skin in ghostly clouds.

Levi still didn’t open his eyes, keeping perfectly motionless as he began a cursory exploration. His knife whispered from beneath the pillow, reassuring and tangible but he knew instinctively that it wasn’t necessary and hushed the blade away.

Breathing in slowly through is nose so as not to disturb the person at his back, Levi picked up scents that spoke of familiar safety - ink, pine and hard work. The combination was well known to Levi, smells he’d grown attached to over the years, ones he sought out and craved. Somehow, they were now lying beside him on the mattress.

With more than a little amount of excited adrenaline, Levi finally peeked out from beneath tired lids, confirming the blackest of nights as expected. He didn’t dare move at first; Levi would rather find himself dead than interrupt the slumber of one man who deserved it the most.

Levi unclenched, forced his muscles to relax and he melted backwards, testing Erwin’s sleep by shuffling his hips ever so slightly until they found a soft warm belly, a place where he truly felt he could make his home. It seemed natural, the way they fit together perfectly as if they’d been destined to lay side by side, just as they fought. No blood or loss accompanied them now, simply comfort, a luxury not often afforded to those in their line of work and Levi let out a shaking soundless sigh, his eyes sliding shut once more.

He couldn’t sleep, remained pliant and calm in the arms of another. Levi concentrated on Erwin’s breathing, the rhythmic beat of his heart, every movement. He may never snatch another moment like this one, greedily drinking it up before morning came to deliver its cruel sunlight and Levi chanced a further shift into Erwin’s body, wriggling and growing braver.

“Comfortable?”

Levi flinched but didn’t jump away. Perhaps he should have, perhaps it would’ve been better to spring up and forget that this ever happened, yet Erwin’s arm stayed steady. Taking his commander’s lead as usual, Levi shrugged. Conversations in the dark from behind closed lids were easier.

“Yes. Are you?”

No answer came, the silence screaming louder than any words and Levi held his breath, trying to recall exactly how they’d come to be in this position but gleaning nothing from his exhausted mind. Was it his doing? Had Levi dragged Erwin from his desk, grumbling about rest? Doubtful, not even fatigue would make him forget that.

Fragments came together as Levi counted Erwin’s now faster heart, felt it on his back as a reminder of their fragile humanity, strong thuds tapping out their own message. Maybe Erwin had fallen back into dreamland, submerged and voiceless again but in all of the serenity, Levi made a discovery.

“You knocked at my door at one in the morning, to cuddle?”

Erwin’s jolt and muffled reply made Levi instantly regret the question, thick tones rumbling in his ear and sending shivers up his spine.

“Mmm. Jus’ tired.” Levi said no more, allowed Erwin to sleep as soundly as possible for once, however a further fuzzy query came. “Is it time to get up?”

“No. Not for ages. Shhh, close your eyes, Erwin.”

Levi took the hand at his chest gingerly, fingers searching over weathered knuckles and old scars as he swallowed down the rough emotion tightening in his throat. He’d never witnessed such bare normality in Erwin, the facade broken further down in this raw hour of the day. Levi felt a faint squeeze in his gentle grip, one which faded limply and the peaceful waves of Erwin’s drowse recommenced, lazy and warm on Levi’s nape.


	23. Why Are You Like This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt

Close. He felt so so close to Levi, nose buried in his arm, lips working at soft flesh in the place of teeth. Erwin had abandoned any kind of thought, his loose jaw mouthing over muscle now and he moaned into skin, wet slippery skin, the sounds of their effort filling his mind. 

Small yet strong fingers dug into Erwin's body, marking and claiming, grabbing desperately at anything they could find and at that moment they were as one, the lines blurred from where Erwin ended and Levi began. 

Many may have looked upon their relationship from the outside, made assumptions based on personality alone and it would've been easy to presume that Levi was an impatient lover. His public facade spoke of a whirlwind, untamed and raw, severe. Erwin knew better though, had been worshipped under a gentle touch, loved and revered softly as Levi picked apart his seams only to sew him back together again. 

Nothing else existed for him now, simply the delicious pull of pleasure as Levi hung over Erwin, melding them, making them whole. Levi moved slowly with purpose, his hair brushing against Erwin's forehead, bringing them both closer to release and Erwin gazed upward, looking into his future and past, all reflected back by storm-grey eyes. 

There was no shouting, no struggle for power, only breathless moans, Levi's lips hungrily eating up Erwin's every utterance as he cradled him softly, spilling inside to the tune of Erwin's peak.

As the fire burned down, they made their own heat. Sweet kisses behind ears, trailing down jaws, kind nuzzles at throats. They remained connected, a tangle of spent limbs, sweat and sticky bodies, not ready to part just yet, still exploring. Levi nipped at Erwin's lobe, a gruff chuckle bubbling up. 

"What?"

Levi's voice tickled over Erwin, fleeting as a summer breeze as his tongue flicked out to soothe the tiny bite. 

"Why are you like this?" 

"Like what, Erwin?" 

Legs loose around Levi's waist, Erwin sighed and nudged his face in contentment, rubbing against faint stubble. 

"So good for me?"

Levi didn't reply, pushed his nose deeper in to reap the manly scent, lost himself in it as Erwin wrapped his arms tightly around his back, satisfied and at peace. Only Levi could take his demons away so beautifully, replaced them with love and filled his heart by doing nothing more than offering a simple glance. Only Levi could be so good for him.


	24. Marmaduke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt 'I know its three in the morning but I can't find my cat.'

Levi sighed, gnawing at the straw between his teeth as the early morning graveyard shift dragged on. A stiff blue and white worker's shirt hung from his shoulders, ill-fitting and unfortunately embroidered with his name, the swirling letters appearing much more approachable than their owner. 

He'd already scared off most of the local tweakers and drunkards on his first week of employment at the gas station, chased them away with genuine threats - Levi had no desire to be at the receiving end of unpredictability. That left him to the slow trickle of his usual customers; the out-of-towners passing through, fraught looking parents grabbing children's medicines, the fellow night workers. He held a kindred respect with that last group, a nod in acknowledgement given as dark eyes met even darker ones, fatigue shared like a badge of solidarity. 

Sometimes Levi would carelessly 'forget' to ring their items correctly through the register, provided his own brand of silent charity as weary hands counted out change from a meagre wallet. The night shift rarely paid very well and was often a needed supplement to people's incomes.

Levi however found this job to be a perfect fit to his needs, damned insomnia striking each evening. Conversely, he seemed to actually fall asleep at the most inopportune moments, such as lunchtime. Ten minute unannounced catnaps were not normally a selling point for any potential workplace. 

So Levi suffered through dullness and bit tiny marks into the yellow striped straw, spinning it with his tongue and leaning back against the counter, arms crossed. 

The CCTV screen pinged, alerting him to a newcomer and Levi watched with boredom as a red station wagon pulled in, interest creeping up as the vehicle skidded to a sideways halt. He straightened, pushing away from his leaning post and hunching over the display, straw working double-time. 

"What the fuck is he doing?" 

Levi mumbled past chewed plastic and stared at the grainy images, a blurry man looking this way and that, phone in hand. Maybe lost, but surely asking for assistance would be easier than trying to get one's bearings in a dark forecourt at 2.47am. Either way, Levi waited for the man's predictable next move. 

On cue, a bell rang as the door opened and his stranded customer crashed in, still staring at his phone and darting down an aisle with a look of pure distress. 

"Great. Just what I fucking need.' 

Presuming these were the actions of someone under the influence, Levi huffed and reached for his mop, a weapon of choice against albeit attractive foes. It wasn't hard to find the strange giant, his dark blue overalls perhaps betraying Levi's first impressions. The fabric was neat and tidy, the empty arms tied around blondie's waist to show off a pristine white tshirt. A fucking tight white tshirt. From his position behind, Levi could see the outline of muscles and strength, followed each bump downwards to the cling of cloth around his ass, cupped beautifully by cotton. 

It wasn't often that fate delivered such a pleasing customer, but it still left Levi with his initial issue. He had no idea what this guy was fucking doing. Blondie prowled, head down, oblivious to Levi following him, face buried in his phone. A faint murmur could be heard, getting more distinct as they played cat and mouse through the tinned food, round past breakfast cereals and right to the 'staff only' door. Hot or not, Levi was not about to let him through and as a large hand raised to push the door open, he tapped his mop on a meaty shoulder. 

"Stop right there." 

They froze in tandem, unmoving as both men decided what the next step would be. Levi would defend his territory fiercely, had done many a time before and he was certainly prepared to do so again, his hands tightening on the wooden pole. 

"Turn around. Slowly." 

Blondie complied, palms raised, phone and all. Levi glanced at the screen, a red dot pulsating in the centre like a beacon and then he glared at the owner's face, momentarily distracted by amazingly bright eyes. He felt lost in them, like swimming in a sea of calm but Levi couldn't help but shift his gaze downwards, well defined abs just screaming to be touched. Levi gulped, cursing the noise it made and he steadied himself, gnashing on the straw to contain a whine. 

"What the fuck are you playing at?" 

There was a moment of silence, a staring competition that held a distinct air of lust on at least Levi's part and then blondie spoke, rich and apologetic. 

"I'm so sorry to disturb you. I know its three in the morning, but I cant find my cat." 

It threw Levi, an unexpected response to his ears and he exhaled sharply, mop lowered and followed by those brilliant blue eyes. 

"Your cat?" 

"Yes!" Hands down now, he continued with animation. "I have a tracker on him. Silly thing ran away." 

"And its here?" 

"I think so. May I?" 

He gestured to the door, a warm smile spreading over impossibly full lips and Levi grit his teeth, thinking how unfair it was to have so much good genetics bundled up into one body. 

"Yea, sure." 

Levi trailed behind, curious now as to how someone would know their pet had disappeared at this ungodly hour. He followed closely, perhaps too close and Levi breathed in the scent of cleanliness, an unusual smell from a person wearing overalls. It was homely and sweet, maybe with hints of cinnamon and Levi decided there and then that he would follow this aroma anywhere. He'd become intoxicated, led by the mysterious stranger deeper into the staff room and beyond, eventually finding himself out back beside the industrial garbage containers. 

"Just around here…" 

Levi waited by the door, shoulder to the wood and he saw a tiny ginger ball of fluff plucked from behind the bin, whiskers dirty and fur sticking up all over the place. A faint mewl squeaked out as the reunion grew ridiculous.

"There you are, Marmaduke! What did you go and run off for, huh? You silly billy, you. Come here, let me have a cuddle. Yes, yes, you missed me too, didn't you? My squishy little…" 

"If you're quite done?" 

Levi held up his mop, beckoning back inside and away from the light rain which fell in annoyingly wet drizzles. 

"Oh, sorry. This is Marmaduke." 

"Charmed." The cat was pawing at a finely chiselled jaw, licking too and Levi tried hard not to smile, hid his melting heart behind dull sarcasm. "Pleased to meet it." 

"Him. And I'm Erwin." 

"Levi." 

"Well, thank you Levi. I need to buy some milk?" 

"Sure. Whatever."

As Levi headed their strange collective back in, he closed his eyes and whispered to himself, asking for strength in the face of a gorgeous man being even more gorgeous with his kitten. Who decided to drop this bomb on him today? Who thought hey, Levi needs to be punched in the gut and driven insane by something he can't have? 

"Fucking Erwin. Fucking Marmaduke. Fuck." 

"Sorry, didn't catch that?" 

"Milk's over there." 

Gesturing wildly with the mop, Levi stormed behind the counter and willed the saccharine sensation away, begged for his stomach to stop doing flips. Erwin returned, placing down full-fat milk, canned tuna and a mammoth bag of potato chips. 

"The cat eats chips?" 

Levi scowled as he shoved the products in a bag without charging, disguising true feelings amidst his best death-glare. Problem was, Erwin simply smiled and took another year off Levi's life. 

"Oh no, that's my breakfast." 

"What kind of shitty breakfast is that?" 

"I don't often get a chance for more." The bag was thrust over, Erwin seemingly not noticing that he hadn't paid and he shuffled it up to the crook of his elbow, Marmaduke in the other arm and nibbling at Erwin's ear. "I'm a trucker. Go up and down the country. This little thing is my travelling buddy, although I do feel a bit mean for keeping him cooped up all the time." 

It explained the overalls and terrible diet, the odd waking hours, but not the vehicle sitting across two bays outside. Levi shrugged, chanelleing feigned nonchalance and he threw his straw away, the plastic now beyond cracked. 

"Car trucker?" 

Erwin stared blankly, unsure of what he was being accused of until it dawned on him.

"Oh that? I borrowed it from the rest stop up the road. Quicker." 

"Borrowed?" 

"Yea, I get around. Make friends." 

Levi could see it happening, the kind face and dazzling smile doing a number on many a heart and he sniffed once, ready to say goodbye to his welcome distraction. 

"Well, drive safely." 

"I will. Thank you." Erwin paused, the cat still nuzzling at his neck and Levi thought he saw a blush rise on his cheeks. "Um, Levi?"

"Yea?" 

"Next time I'm in town, do you fancy getting a proper breakfast with me?" 

It almost stunned Levi into speechless ramblings, a thousand words rushing through his mind whilst he avoided a seizure. This shit never happened to him. Ever. Mustering as steady a voice as he could manage, Levi lowered his brows. 

"No chips?" 

"No chips. And no straws." 

"Deal." 

He watched Erwin leave, waves exchanged along with awkward half-grins and Levi called out, blurting his next demand before he lost the nerve. 

"And bring Marmaduke. You two are kind of cute."

Erwin saluted his affirmative and turned red, stumbling out the door with a satisfied laugh.


	25. Because I Love You God Damn It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt of the same name

He moved fluid like water at times, passing through Erwin's aura and out again, liquid touches and contact that felt so easy. 

Over their few months together, Erwin had begun to note the habitual motions that Levi left in his wake - a flickering stroke to the nape of his neck when kissing him goodbye, a scrunch of the nose whilst pouring Erwin's coffee, needy fingers stamping their mark all over his body. 

Levi flowed into him, quenched Erwin's thirst with a simplicity that left him wondering how. Technically they didn't live together, not yet, however pieces of Levi seeped in as if finding their rightful way home. The book he thought Erwin might enjoy, oils for the bath to soothe and de-stress, favourite treats. 

Erwin lay back in bed one morning, his hair tangled and sweaty, Levi's spent form curled into his side. Their shared breaths levelled out, gulps of air turning steady as the grey winter's sun did a poor job of breaking through dense fog. Inside was warm and calm though, a haven against the cruel weather and Erwin sighed peacefully as Levi started his ritual. 

Shoulder, collar bone, abdomen, thigh. Levi's touch was light and careful, a journey of swirling circles that left Erwin boneless every time. And every time Levi would raise up on one elbow, black strands crisscrossed over his forehead in evidence of their earlier sleepy passion. He placed a kiss on the corner of Erwin's mouth before smiling, about to climb out of bed but this time Erwin stopped Levi with a hand on his arm. 

"Wait."

"I have to shower. Brush my teeth. Get your eggs cooking."

"It can wait, Levi." 

An odd semi-scowl flashed over Levi's stare, the mugginess of sleep and sex still clouding his eyes. 

"No, it can't. You know it can't." 

Erwin chewed over implied unspoken words, allowed Levi's migrating belongings to finally sink in and make sense as he sat up, head shaking. 

"You don't have to do this." 

"I want to." Levi snapped lightly, no bite to his bark. "Fuck knows YOU won't do it." 

That could have been a challenge, a slight of character, but Erwin knew this man through and through, a connection he'd never thought possible so instead he chuckled quietly, his gratitude containing nothing even close to bad feeling. 

"Thank you." 

"For what?" 

For being my sea. For washing me away into bliss and ebbing against my tide. For taking the beached wreckage and building it anew. 

"For the eggs, Levi. You do them just right." 

A spark of understanding passed, again speechless and Levi gave a small grunt of acknowledgment, hefting himself out of bed in his lithe manner. Fluid like water. He leant over, fingers ghosting across Erwin's neck as their lips said good morning again, another tell tale habit. 

Erwin watched as Levi slid to the bathroom, graceful, his footsteps spelling out a saturated trail of comfort and the shower was turned on, leaving Erwin to vocalise his most prominent thought. 

"Why do you want to run around after me?" 

He hadn't expected an answer, believed that Levi would be deafened by the roar of running water, yet a gruff and almost accusatory reply was shot from behind a closed door. 

"Because I love you, god damn it." 

Erwin wasn't exactly shocked but Levi's admittance left him unable to move for a moment, frozen in time and he let the sensation of belonging wash over him, from his toes and up to his breathless chest, landing on Erwin's cheeks as a blush. 

In a few minutes Levi would be done and rushing off downstairs to start breakfast, likely in one of Erwin's clean white shirts and nothing else, bare soles padding across tiles. He'd fold scrambled eggs perfectly, brew coffee and tea, toast some bread and line up Erwin's meds, cut fresh fruit and open some windows. 

Erwin found his movement again, heart lighter than ever before as he followed Levi into the bathroom, fluid like water. Today it could wait for a few minutes.


	26. Ignore Me, I Didn't See Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr Prompt

The train was packed full to the rafters, humans sandwiched in like cattle and permeating the air with their thick heat. Evening rush hour was in full swing and Levi sat folded up in a corner, one of those lucky enough to have a seat, his body trying to be as small as possible so as to keep from touching anyone else. 

After a hard day's work, the collective mass exuded all manner of scents, each one hitting Levi's senses - some were warm, some even pleasant, yet mostly it stank of sweat or food, second-hand beer being breathed over his face after a certain commuter's liquid lunch. 

He shut it all out, scowling at his phone as yet another station welcomed passengers aboard the poorly ventilated train, yet more knees for him to look at. Calls of 'can you move down please' bounced off the metal walls and Levi rolled his eyes, grumbling quietly before becoming caught up again in the glowing screen in his grip, earbuds now blaring loud music for only him. 

In order to continue what was a casual hobby of his, Levi had to retreat as far back as he could, shield the phone from prying eyes and he sank further into the seat, all curled up and hopefully unnoticeable. 

Frowning deeply, he scrolled through the pages and concentrated on continuity, ensured the dialogue made sense and had been translated correctly, scoured every panel. Levi was in the zone, fully engrossed and disconnected from the curtain of legs and bags around him, finger flicking to the next page. 

"Doubt that's possible. Jesus." 

He mumbled softly, toggling to another app and Levi made a quick note, rows of exclamation marks next to the page number. That should be sufficient, he decided and returned to his work. 

As usual, just to compound matters in the most uncomfortable way, delays were prolific on Levi's journey home, frequent stops and red signals adding long minutes to the ride. On one particular pause, Levi hadn't even noticed they'd come to a standstill and whistled to himself once, nodding slowly. 

"Nice." 

More notes in appreciation were given and Levi hunched over his phone, swiping faster until he reached another implausible scene, his brows furrowing. He'd shifted position without meaning to, a little bit too eager perhaps and the sensation of being watched crept over Levi's skull like a cold breeze. Quickly, he snapped his head up to see the expected knees and grocery bags, further still to nostrils and chins, no one looking down so he relaxed back, jarred but satisfied of his anonymity. 

And there is was again, distinct and burning. Eyes. Levi moved fast, glaring swiftly from beneath low lids and this time he caught someone, an impossibly tall someone, their shoulders crunched to fit into the small space. Blonde hair and a flicker of blue twitched away, gaze averted a millisecond too slow…was that a blush? Levi smirked devilishly, happy that he'd been able to find his observer and hopefully embarrass him in the process, even if he was something of a distraction. 

A perfectly tailored suit gave way to well maintained shoes, the physique of a man of stature looming over Levi and he found it hard to focus, aware of those crystal eyes back on him and he squirmed, taking evasive action. He zoomed in on a particular frame, close and lucid, phone tilted ever so slightly and Levi pulled one earbud out, let it fall to his lap just as a gasp came from above. 

Gotcha. 

Screen to his chest, Levi locked stares with his attractive nemesis and tilted his chin, jaw clenched and lips a thin line. 

"What?" 

"I-ignore me, I didn't see anything." 

Suit-man fumbled the words to his reply, the sound of wheels grinding on hard tracks muffling Levi's challenge as the train pulled into the next station, the seat to his left suddenly vacated. To Levi's surprise, he was joined instantly by the blonde, his large body crumpling into the miniscule space. He didn't take his eyes away, kept searching that handsome face for answers with an expression of open curiosity. 

"I said 'what?' What are you looking at?" 

Levi spoke in a standard snap that was laced with wonder, expecting a good answer despite his new found interest in all different shades of blue and when the train moved on, he got his response. The man leaned in, shoulder to shoulder, co-conspirators in an otherwise normal society. 

"Forgive me but…that…that doesn't look possible." 

"And what would you know?" 

Lurches and bumps jolted their bodies together, a hypnotising sway of travel forcing them to share heat. Levi's throat felt dry, his mouth muggy and warm as he watched pink blossom over his companion's cheeks. 

"Well, not to be too forward, but I tried it once." 

Levi huffed, all the air punched from his lungs and he trembled with the bubbling laughter inside of his chest, nose wrinkling in disbelief. 

"Are you fucking insane? You tried that?" 

"I'm not proud of it."

"You fucking should be." Levi's lips spasmed, a similar smile rippling over the business-man's ashamed face. "I respect your flexibility." 

They snuffled with appreciative chuckles, both awkwardly glancing around and Levi took a chance, invaded personal space as he brought his phone up for them to see. 

"How about this?" 

"Oh, certainly yes. That's much more manageable." There was a pause, grand brows lowering with his voice. "I'm not sure about the…size, though."

"Pfft. I've seen them that size." 

"Really?!"

Levi twitched, tilting his head side to side whilst chewing the inside of his cheek. 

"No. Not that big. I don't have a death wish." 

The hum of the journey lulled them into silence, a strangely comfortable one and a thick finger pointed over. 

"So…do you draw these…?" 

There was a space at the end which asked an unspoken question, a lilting upwards tone that politeness dictated be answered. 

"Levi." 

"Hello, Levi. I'm Erwin. So, do you?" 

"God no. If I draw a person it ends up looking like a fucking potato." Another giggle, nerves on edge, sickly adrenaline pumping. "I proof them. Check the dialogue. And the plausibility." 

"One hell of a job." 

"Nah. It's a pastime. Get paid some pocket money to dissect them." 

More silence. Less easy. Erwin cleared his throat as Levi lazily flicked through more pages of the explicit uncensored doujinshi, all cocks and hands and fluids.

"That one's possible too." 

Levi jumped, startled by Erwin's soft voice and he looked down, aware of Erwin swiftly looking at his own hand in comparison to the one loosely held around the character's throat. He wondered what Erwin's grip would feel like, the power and command imbued in such a simple hold. Heat made itself known in Levi's groin, a deep desire coiling as if he were a teenager, his lungs ablaze and he whispered back, the sensation of fingers on his neck seeming so real and heavy.

"Yea…that's definitely possible." 

They couldn't look one another in the eye but somehow grew closer, their knees bumping with the movement of the carriage and Levi grit his teeth, decided to take a nervous stab in the dark. 

"Do you want my number?" 

There. He'd blurted it out, no taking it back and Levi kept his gaze trained on his thighs, jaw flexing and ready for a gentle let down. As if a strange man reading questionable porn on public transport would be appealing? He could hear the response in his mind, the apology and careful words, so when Erwin handed him a business card, Levi swore he was going to vomit. 

"Sure, Levi. Here's mine too." 

Levi took the card in a trembling hand, rushing to pull his own from his jacket pocket and he passed it across, their thumbs brushing. Erwin smiled, god that smile and the way he said Levi's name, like honey. It sent him spinning into an oblivion that lit his insides up and clutched at his heart, a pure openness to Erwin's expression that had him almost begging. 

Erwin glanced at the item, laughing to himself and Levi bristled. 

"What?" 

"Assistant Buyer?" 

"Yea? So what? I work in a department store, so fucking what?" 

"Nothing!" Erwin's smile broadened, engulfed Levi and his half-assed retaliation. "Just didn't expect you to be a fashion expert." 

"Well, Mr…" Levi read the card, nodded. "Mr 'Sales and Marketing'."

"Yes?" 

Finally they made eye contact and Levi sagged, a kind smirk dancing over his lips. 

"I actually expected you to be a smarmy salesman." 

Levi's teeth were in danger of being shown, a full on grin bathing Erwin's features in pure enjoyment but it dropped, an announcement cracking through their little bubble. 

"That's my stop. Let me know if you fancy meeting up for coffee? I could help you with your extra work?"

"I'd like that, Erwin." 

He stood, ready to leave as Levi gave a parting, educated comment. 

"Nice suit, by the way." 

"Thanks. Nice porn." 

Erwin's voice boomed rich and true throughout the train, all other noises having ceased upon arrival and what seemed like a million eyes were on them, disapproving and nosey. Levi wanted the ground to open up and take him, his face red as could be and he rose too, grabbing Erwin by the arm. 

"This is my stop too, now." 

He forced his way out, Erwin in tow and in fits of laughter as Levi stormed through the station, crimson in colour. He bit his lip, staved off the amusement and stopped abruptly, spinning to point at Erwin. 

"You owe me a drink." 

"What for?" 

"Embarrassing me in front of a whole carriage full of people!"

"If it means I get to take you for a drink, then…?" 

Erwin shrugged, innocence poorly plastered on his expression as Levi gave in and grinned, pulling Erwin by the hand to the nearest bar.


	27. Can I Touch You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt of the same name :)

Maybe it was the brilliantly pink sky, sunbeams tracing salmon lines across fluffy white clouds. Maybe it was the wine, rich and tinged with smoky notes. Or maybe it was just Levi and his undeniable magnetism. 

Erwin had been drawn into Levi's orbit a long time ago, caught up in the mesmerising aura, well and truly smitten. Some days he couldn't eat, barely slept, consumed by the pull of another. Regular food was obsolete, the mattress uncomfortable and lonely - to thrive, Erwin required only one source of nourishment. Levi. 

Simply coexisting in the same temporal space used to be enough for Erwin, a second-hand radiance satiating any hunger but his appetite had grown, overwhelming him day by day. Now it felt empty and threadbare to sit beside Levi, a void expanding inside of Erwin's chest. The hollowness was needy, a parasite, leeching power and emotions in a steady stream of incessant feeding until he found himself utterly starved, his antidote so close but unattainable. 

Levi was out of bounds, his subordinate, someone he'd brought on board despite warnings to the contrary, however Erwin followed his hunch, a gut feeling which he relied upon frequently. 

With Levi, anything was possible. His skill and speed were like nothing Erwin had ever witnessed on previous missions, a fluidity that spoke of grace and control. Erwin loved to watch Levi in action, could spend hours looking at limbs that swept through the air effortlessly, always in tune and melodious. Levi danced to his own harmony, notes surely plucked from some magical realm and transformed into physical motion. Even inertia suited him, Levi's pearly skin glowing with the dewdrops of deep slumber. Erwin wouldn't admit to his observations though, kept that secret locked away. 

It was nearly time to rest again, another opportunity for Erwin's silent reverence to begin, yet today seemed different. 

Maybe it wasn't the wine, fabricated tastes lingering on Erwin's tongue. Maybe it wasn't the sky, their vista disappearing with the flick of a switch. Maybe it was Erwin. 

Levi sat on the edge of his pod that evening, dog tags dangling as he tugged sweats away, packing them up neatly for future use. Wearing a tight black vest and matching shorts, Levi swung his bare legs inside and grumbled, never one to welcome this inevitable part of the journey. It made Levi feel indescribably nauseous, Erwin knew this, so before commencing the stasis programme, he approached quietly.

"Here." 

Passing over a small pill, Erwin smiled kindly and clasped his hands behind him, lifting up onto tiptoes and back, rocking. 

"Thanks." 

Lights shut down one by one, dramatic machinery whirs and clunks sealing each airtight door around them, a computer urgently scrambling co-ordinates. Amongst the chatter of artificial intelligence, Erwin knelt and placed a shaking hand outwards, uncertain as to his intent. 

"You ok Erwin?" 

The smile faded. Levi stared down, brows low and concerned. Erwin whispered. 

"Can I touch you?" 

Electronic beeps echoed dully, two sets of eyes now locked in the dim ghostly blue glow of digital screens. Neither of them dared to breathe, stuck in a pocket that knew no time or year and Levi's silvery gaze widened, his mouth opening soundlessly. Erwin backtracked, stuttering an apology. 

"Sorry, don't mind me. It's the lack of oxygen or something. I…"

"Yes." 

Erwin faltered but only for a heartbeat, aware of their limited window. Lifting his arm, he placed a palm on Levi's cheek, cool and soft, met by larger pupils and a small gasp. Erwin's sigh seemed so loud in the cabin, plain white walls absorbing nothing as he ran his thumb slowly over Levi's bottom lip. 

"Erwin?" 

There lay enough pleading in that voice, enough reciprocated need that Erwin had no second thoughts, moved closer to take his chance…

'Cryogenics will commence in T-Minus five minutes.' 

Red alerts flashed, bathing Levi's pained face with intermittent warmth. 

"How long do you need to get ready?" 

Erwin answered in an instant.

"Three minutes."

They began tentatively, finding a sedate rhythm of mouths, lips grazing with tender kisses. Erwin changed position, rising up on his knees to fully express his desire, aching for more. It didn't seem enough but mildly fulfilled his yearning, wet pouts snatching kiss after kiss. 

'Cryogenics will commence in T-Minus three minutes.' 

Levi pulled back, breathless. 

"Erwin, you need to get in your pod. Now."

"But…"

"I'll be here. I'll be waiting. I'll vomit on your feet again when we wake up." 

Levi's words came with strokes of blonde hair, red insistency dragging Erwin away with a grin. 

The hatches shut soon after, muted images of one another pressing palms against incandescent glass, frozen for decades that would feel as quick as an hour.


	28. Why Haven't You Kissed Me Yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another tumblr prompt for kitty :)

Nothing pissed off Levi more than an aquarium.

SeaLife Centre. SeaWorld. Underwater Kingdom. Fucking fish everywhere. They always smelled funny, everything slightly damp and warm as if walking through an actual tropical tank, annoyingly enthusiastic workers in bright polo shirts just waiting to pounce and ask shit like 'would you like to hold a mollusc?'

Levi did not want to hold a mollusc. 

Levi did not want to watch the penguins being fed. 

Levi certainly did not want to walk through a glass tunnel surrounded by deadly sharks and stupidly coloured creatures. 

But here he was, holding a mollusc after the penguin show had ended, his skin itching as Erwin squealed in delight, a clam opening slowly in his hands. 

"Look, Levi! It's saying hello!" 

"No, it's going to take a shit." 

"He's coming to say hi, look at the little guy!" 

"Disgusting." 

Plopping the round shell back into a shallow rock pool, Levi wiped his palms swiftly on a piece of tissue and chewed at the inside of his cheek. Every single date they'd been on so far involved marine life in some format, be it a turtle or eels, an octopus and crabs, always damn fish. The only thing which made any of it bearable was Erwin, his handsome excitement infectious and Levi trailed his gaze down the curve of Erwin's ass, ignored everything but the way denim clung nice and tightly. 

Peachy. That's how Levi would describe it. Perfectly rounded. Squeezable. He wanted to take a handful and just lose himself, kneading like a cat getting comfortable for a nap, fingers burying deep into flesh. Levi didn't necessarily see his musings as purely sexual in nature, more so that he was most definitely an ass man. At least with Erwin's ass. 

He'd never considered a preference before, but the first time Levi laid eyes on that glorious behind, a sense of awakening dawned. Maybe Erwin tuned his work-outs specifically to target that area, or perhaps he was blessed by nature, offering Levi one of the best views he'd ever seen. 

Levi sighed, appreciating the human form before him, mind occupied by soft fuzzy cheeks, bronze hues, a human pillow for him to lay against. 

"Juicy." 

Everyone was staring. 

Flicking his eyes upwards, Levi tried to calm the panic within and figure out why so many people were looking at him. Erwin was struggling to keep a straight face, blushing regardless and an aquarium worker held out a large sea snail, retracting it slowly at Levi's utterance with a suspicious glare. 

"He's just hungry, don't worry." 

Erwin dragged Levi away into the dim blue tunnel, rushing round the corner into a secluded spot beneath a crop of rainbow anemones. 

"What? Did…did I say it out loud?" 

"Yes Levi." 

"Oh fuck." 

Watery shimmers lit Erwin's hair beautifully, an atmospheric glow washing over their faces as they huddled against glass, a catfish swimming ignorantly overhead. 

"It's ok. I'm flattered that you find my ass juicy, Levi." 

"Why do we always come to the aquarium?" 

Levi changed the subject, snapping a retort to hide his embarrassment, back pressed against the cool window. 

"I thought you enjoyed it?" 

"I…what…how?!" 

"You always seem happier." 

"That's not because of the sodding fish, Erwin. That's because I'm here with you." 

Rays flew by, flapping their slippery wings, leaving a burst of bubbles behind. Erwin shuffled his feet, nervously glancing around. 

"So you…you like me, Levi?"

"Yes I fucking like you." 

"Then…why haven't you kissed me yet?" 

"Why haven't YOU kissed ME yet?" 

They stared one another down in silence, smiles twitching and Erwin stuck his arm out in a show of chivalry. 

"Want to get out of here? Go somewhere a bit less...pungent?" 

"Hell yes." 

"Do I get a kiss first?" Levi took Erwin's arm, reaching up on tiptoes to place a soft and brief peck on Erwin's chin. "Is that it?" 

"For now, Erwin." Levi tilted his head, smirking. "I'm not getting intimate with you while we're being watched by a fucking shark."


	29. When I'm With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tunblr prompt for lervin :)

'Like cool water on a summer's day. 

Birds waking the world up with their dawn chorus. 

The crunch of browning leaves beneath boots and the chill of autumn air on red cheeks. 

Warm cocoa and fluffy socks as the snow falls outside. 

Safe. Protected. Wanted. Whole.

This is the way I feel when I'm with you.' 

 

Levi folded the dog-eared paper away, edges rough and holding the memory of being handled time and time again. He placed it carefully in his inside breast pocket, the dark blazer covering a faded grey tee that was two sizes larger than necessary. From Levi's high perch on a bar stool he could see everything around yet chose not to, instead staring directly into his drink as all hell broke loose behind him. 

Green lights flashed beside blue, lighting up the rows of bottles in Levi's peripheral with sharp clarity, too bright, too real, too solid. Bodies swarmed in the glass reflections, a mass of limbs and sweat and passion, probably all too busy chewing their own faces off to notice the melancholic air to the pounding track. But then, everything seemed melancholic to Levi these days. 

Swelling sombre chords mixed into fast dirty bass lines, the words sinking straight to Levi's soul whilst everyone else went crazy, arms in the air, pointing to some unknown entity. 

Tonight, I want to forget  
I want lights to blind me  
I want peace, want to disappear

Levi was trying to forget yet failing miserably, the alcohol dulling absolutely nothing, his mind not eased in the slightest. He'd chosen this club over and over in hope of finding numbness, a wall of sound and unthinking actions, however all he'd achieved was an acquired taste for amaretto and dubstep. The staff knew him, didn't bother trying to make small-talk anymore, simply let Levi be, a steady row of drinks supplied to the man who habitually checked his phone ten times an hour. 

Every call or message received had his nerves on fire, convinced that the next one would be the dreaded solemn voice - we're very sorry, nothing we could do, no hope of recovery. Gone. Lost. 

Four months now, no, five. Five. It might grow to be as many as eight, Levi knew this, but it didn't stop his attempts to shut out loneliness every Friday night. 

Another drink, another tap of the screen. Nothing. No news was good news he supposed. Bullshit. Having no news was excruciating. Having no Erwin was killing him. 

Levi fingered at the scrap paper in his pocket, wondering for the millionth time why he'd never shown Erwin, why he'd never admitted just how much he meant to Levi. Maybe Erwin wouldn't return to him on this occasion, eventually pushing his luck too far beyond the laws of average, destined to perish. 

Shivering, Levi raised his hand for a refill and jiggled his leg to the now faster heavier beat, it was impossible not to, those out for a good time all jumping and screaming raucously in the background. He sighed, tired, lonely and unseen…until a crawling made itself known on the back of Levi's skull. His head was hanging low beneath hunched shoulders, posture emitting nothing but 'fuck off', yet someone was looking. Staring, even. 

Levi felt exposed, turning slowly on the stool with a snarl ready, his fist bunched. When he saw the source of annoyance, a punch may as well have been slammed into his stomach. 

"Erwin?" 

Of course it went unheard over the cacophonous music, Levi's eyes wide and confused as Erwin drew closer with a smile, dark lids suggesting little sleep. 

"Hey Levi." 

Almost tumbling off the seat, Levi dropped to the floor and held onto Erwin's shirt for support, taking handfuls of fabric in desperate disbelief. 

"What…what are you doing here?!" 

He shouted to be audible, electronic notes spinning and vibrating in Levi's brain. Now he was on his feet, Levi realised how drunk he'd actually got and he tripped lightly from side to side. Erwin grinned, not in the least bit displeased to see his partner in such a state, palms on Levi's back, mouth on his ear. 

"I knew you'd find the loudest most impersonal place on earth to disappear into. So I came here when you weren't at home." 

Gulping back inebriation, Levi wobbled as he lifted to yell at Erwin's neck. He smelled good. Incredible. Sweaty yet honest and Levi stayed there a moment, inhaled deeply. 

"I meant here. Back." 

"I thought I'd surprise you, Levi." 

"Well you fucking did." 

Their eyes met, then their lips, strong passion resulting in tender kisses. The two rediscovered each other, greeted and gave thanks, tanked-up revellers seeming to merge into a smear of movement all around. 

"God Erwin, I missed you." 

Erwin held tight, never letting go, humming his agreement. They started to sway together, slow and in time with the current euphoric pace, hands reaching to touch everywhere possible in soft gestures. 

"How do you even dance to this?" 

"I have no fucking clue." 

Chuckling at Levi's dopey smile, Erwin rested his chin on dark hair and Levi called from where his mouth lay on Erwin's chest, contented. 

"What was work like?" 

"Cold."

"It's the shitty Antarctic. Of course it was cold." 

They paused to absorb more of one another, Levi still trying to come to terms with Erwin's return.

"We got a lot of samples this time." 

"Mm hmm." Levi didn't want to think about what that meant, however he asked all the same, teeth clenched. "When are you going back?" 

"Well, with the amount we brought with us on the ship, I should be holed up in the lab for ohhh…maybe two years, at least." 

Jolting back as if electrocuted, Levi glared at Erwin's open face, looking for any sign of placation and he found only truth, a grin spreading loosely over his lips. 

"You're fucking kidding me?" 

"Nope." 

Having a boyfriend in geological sciences sounded exciting, but to have him sail away into unknown danger this often wore Levi down, kept him on edge after months of zero contact. A break of two years was most welcome. Levi stared up, saw the fatigue on Erwin's features. 

"Wanna go home?" 

"No, Levi. Lets stay here a bit." 

Dancing in tandem, they enjoyed the proximity for a while longer, pressing into warm bodies and celebrating their extended reunion. The folded paper burned a hole in Levi's pocket, begging to be released, any sense of uncertainty drifting away. 

"Erwin? I've got something for you."


	30. Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt 'You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.' :)

"What did you just say?" 

Levi glared steadily, eyes narrow and fists tightening on the wooden pole in his grip. Thick black gloves protected his hands from the chance of blisters or a potentially nasty splinter, bare arms leading up to short white sleeves. The hot day blazed upon his skin, colouring Levi in a pinkish glow, his job in the open air certainly doing him a multitude of favours. 

Many people would have shied away from such an arduous and challenging way to make a living, yet Levi couldn't imagine a better place to be. His routine revolved around things that didn't talk back, entities which appreciated him, wouldn't mind if he had little ability in terms of conversation. It kept Levi in shape too, gave him a fulfilled and exhausted feeling by bedtime, honest graft equating to wholesome sleep. But now here was this guy, this tall handsome blonde in his sensible clothes with his sensible camera and his idiotic statement. 

They stared at one another through the metal fence, Levi's patience wearing thin and he wiped a forearm across his brow, exuding fatigue in the gesture. 

"Well?" 

Levi flapped a gloved hand, pushing for either a good answer or to be left alone, preferably the latter, a velvety nose nudging his elbow. 

"Oh, I was talking to the mare. Sorry." 

The visior left, turned on his stupid heel in his stupid tight shorts and walked away with a stupid flick of the hips. 

"Fuck." 

Mumbling to the horse which was now gently nibbling at his hair, Levi shook his head. Why was he suddenly disappointed? Why did he care whether or not some random stranger found him beautiful? 

"Come on." 

He led the mare to feed, patting her silky neck and grounding himself in nature. 

Levi's schedule took him to more exotic areas next, pots filled with seeds and water bottles topped up. Tiny claws rested on his shoulders, surprisingly heavy birds coming in to say hello, special fruits laid out to the deafening sound of excited chirps. Covered in squeaky zebra finches, Levi spoke quietly to them. 

"Ok guys, stop it. Calm down. Lunch time." The inattentive brood didn't listen, one pecking at his tshirt. "Hey, that's not food. Quit tryin' to eat me." 

A soft chuckle cut through the sheet of noise and Levi twitched to the left, dislodging finches. Mr Sensible was photographing grey parrots with a smile, his gaze dead ahead, looking nowhere near Levi's direction. Again, Levi felt a pang of unwanted upset that the kind laughter hadn't been for his benefit, ridiculously jealous of the large birds further up the aviary. 

Elephants. A trickier group to care for, but no less enjoyable. Their eyes held such amazingly soft expression within, glassy and lined by long lashes, a world of experience in those noble glances. As usual, Levi's hair seemed to be the most interesting of features to his charges, a trunk nuzzling at dark strands. Snuffles and slow footsteps brought the rest of their group towards him, large bars keeping Levi from unintentional harm. He hefted huge forkfuls of hay, threw melons and pumpkins into the trough along with leafy branches. A baby elephant trotted up, hurrying to grab its meal. 

"Hey. C'mere." Levi streched between two bars, passing a stick of sugar cane to the youngest resident. "Don't say I never think of you." 

An enthusiastic squeak accompanied a rather clumsy grab and Levi reached in, scratching the animal's head. Contented munching commenced, the elephant family engrossed in their lunch as a hum joined in, long and low. 

Levi wasn't exactly surprised to see tanned legs on the opposite side of the enclosure, nor was he ashamed at his show of affection towards the creatures. He was, however, beginning to wonder if this 'photographer' was following him. Time didn't allow for a confrontation though so Levi wheeled the food cart away, now intrigued to discover if this was merely a coincidence or something more. 

Chimpanzes. The blonde man was there. 

Otters. There. 

Meerkats. There. 

Every fucking where. 

"Maybe if I go for a shit, he'll pass me the damn tissue too." 

Talking under his breath, Levi worked his way through the petting area of the zoo, depositing carrotts and smaller morsels for the farmyard animals, stopping by an expansive and elaborate unit. Mice of all colours skittered about, ignorant to their feeder's presence apart from one, a greyish brown rodent who sniffed and scurried closer. Levi scooped her out, bringing the mouse up to his face. He knew eyes were on him, he knew it, but nothing could stop habitual greetings. 

Teeny whiskers tickled at Levi's pursed lips, little kisses shared and he allowed himself to smile. So what if he was being watched? Nights out at bars ellicited the same kind of predatory observation, men awkwardly asking for his number when all Levi wanted to do was have a quiet drink with friends. The only difference here seemed to be that the game had a new setting. Determined to not let this ruin his day, Levi carried on as if oblivious, working through pens and enclosures efficiently. 

Tired, sweaty and pleasantly worn out, Levi returned to the horses as always, winding down with a cold bottle of water. And of course, his shadow had joined them. Nonchalance became hard, Levi's quiet contemplation broken in two by bright blue eyes that regularly flickered over, the camera now forgotten. The man wasn't even trying to pretend anymore, openly gawping and Levi threw his gloves down, prowling to the perimiter. He recalled the first utterance and it's intended target, terse words forming in Levi's throat without much consideration. 

"You wanna ride or something?" 

"E-excuse me?" 

Levi rolled his eyes, quick and sharp, his tongue clicking at himself more than anything. What a fantastically dense question to ask. It appeared to have sufficiently flustered the visitor though, red cheeks glowing back at Levi. 

"The mare. You said she was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. So." Levi's crossed arms spoke of annoyance, hid the rapid beating of his heart. "Do you want a ride?" 

"Is this a test?" 

"Huh?" 

"It feels like you might mean something else. I don't know how I'm supposed to answer that."

Mr Sensible was clever. Not phased anymore. Calm and calculating. Levi loved a challenge. 

"No test. Simple question. Do. You want. A. Ride."

"Well, not understanding your context makes this rather hard." 

Oh. Fuck. Mr Sensible was not just clever. Levi shifted his weight, resting on one hip as he pondered a response. Might as well go all-in, he decided and Levi grinned. 

"Being rather hard is usually preferable." 

The air crackled, high temperatures rising even further and they stared one another down, lips twitching. Levi was a sore loser, would do anything to win this bizarre contest. Backing away wasn't an option, the photographer growing more attractive by the second until Levi's mind became filled with lewd images, his breathing audible. Luckily Mr Sensible looked just as desperate, beads of moisture gathering on his temples, mouth open, arms slack by his sides. 

The blonde broke first, laughing nervously. 

"I'm sorry, what exactly are we talking about here? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love a ride." He held his palms up, babbling. "On the horse! On the horse. I…I have no idea what I'm saying anymore." 

Levi puffed his chest out, victorious, smug. 

"Well come in then. Jump on...?" 

"Erwin. I think." 

"You don't know your own name?" 

"I don't even know what day it is now."

"I'm Levi. And it's Tuesday." 

"Thank you." Erwin tripped over his own feet, hurrying behind Levi as they made for the stables. "I've never been on a horse before." 

"This should be fun, then." 

As it turned out, Erwin was a natural. Uncertain, but definitely adept. Levi led him in circles around the paddock, slowly at first, gauging Erwin's balance before letting out a longer rein, clacking his teeth to bring the mare to a trot. 

"Rise up on your legs. Push." Erwin bounced haphazardly, his ass hitting the saddle hard. "One two one two one two." 

Counting, Levi ensured Erwin got the hang of it, a smoother jaunt in effect and he nodded once, happy with his progress. 

"Wanna go faster?" 

"Ok!" 

Erwin's smile was wide and exhilirated, hair flapping in the wind, handsomely lit up by innocent pleasure. 

"Sit down." Erwin complied, Levi's whistle sending them cantering around and a whoop punctuated their trip. "Stay in the saddle." 

"It's so much fun!" 

"Stay in the fucking saddle, Erwin!" 

"I'm alright! I'm…" 

Erwin suddenly slid sideways, landing on the grass with a huff and a roll. Levi moved fast, the horse standing obediantly just as he'd taught her to and he dropped to his knees, looming over the fallen rider. 

"Erwin? Can you hear me?" 

He was sprawled on his back, looking up with a smile. 

"You really are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Levi." 

"Must've hit your thick head on the way down." Levi smoothed blonde hair away, removed some grassy sprigs. "I thought you were talking to the mare?" 

"I lied." They regarded each other tentatively, Levi's hand coming to rest on Erwin's cheek. "Thanks for the ride. Can I take you for a drink some time?" 

"Sure. I'd like that." 

Erwin laughed, endeared further by the horse nipping at Levi's hair.


	31. Please Marry Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt of the same name, 200 word drabble :)

Hot breath thundered at Erwin's ear, effort and fatigue rasping ever so close. A sweaty forehead lay pressed to his temple, dark hair matted amongst blonde, strands twining in harmonious contrast.

Each gasp from Levi broke his heart then repaired it, nothing but truth imbued in the tired yet powerful sobs.

Breathe in then out.

Erwin felt surreal, holding the only thing important to him as Levi begged and mumbled against his lobe, feverishly delirious. The louder Levi became, the tighter Erwin gripped, bringing them further together.

Breathe in.

All vocal sound ceased, the silence deafening apart from occasional whimpers and Levi suddenly grew limp in Erwin's arms, spent.

Breathe.

They inhaled sharply, reborn.

"Please, Levi." Erwin spoke through the fog, unhindered honesty in his croaked tone. "Please marry me."

Levi hummed into Erwin's neck, sending warm vibrations mixed with supple lips that twitched into a smile.

"Again?" Drawing back, Levi fixed his eyes into a playful stare, red cheeks glowing like ripe apples. "Once wasn't enough?" 

"Once is never enough with you, Levi."

"Is that so?" 

Erwin didn't have time to respond as Levi's mouth claimed his own again from above, their slick bodies dancing to a familiar beat.


	32. Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr double prompt 'I thought you didn't want me' and 'I want you. Only you.' Canonverse.

As snow flakes fell on Levi's frozen pink nose he bit back a snarl, not because of the cold weather or the cessation of all training, not because of the cut in rations and lack of hot water. Instead Levi's irritation was aimed partly at the back of his Commander's neck as Erwin walked away, but mostly at himself.

Erwin Smith, polite and upstanding. Talented. Dedicated. Damn near perfect. Yet Levi knew better, had been allowed past that sparkling blue stare and further, became a confidante and someone of note in Erwin's eyes.

Nights had withered into still silence over glasses of cheap liquor and pools of wax, no tears spilled but they'd come close at times. Missions were dissected to the point of nausea, what-ifs and lessons pondered over as the clock chimed softly in the early hours. Erwin's office saw countless wounds treated with ever increasing softness, lingering touches on bandages and gauze, mute expressions of gratitude and emotion.

And then Levi fucked it all up, drove his companion to swiftly avoid him at any opportunity, just like now.

The crisp winter's air chilled Levi's lungs, burning them with cruel ice but he could still feel the poisonous heat of self-reproach, a bitter lump lodged in his chest. Erwin finally vanished around a corner, fast steps taking him away despite the thick snow drifts and Levi clenched his jaw tightly, gazing across the courtyard into what was now just a white void.

He let the snarl out.

Using it as a form of angry power, Levi double checked his thick layers of clothing and carried on where he left off, jogging circuits through impossibly cumbersome terrain. Dark hair became sodden, his pale cheeks ruddy, feet numb yet he wouldn't stop. Levi had to rid himself of this encompassing greed, the shame, unusual regret.

As the sun began to fade behind eerily bright clouds, Levi pressed on regardless, determined to beat the stupidity out of his soul. Muscles pumped strongly, strained and painful as he ran faster, head down and eyes practically shut against the heavy snowfall. If Levi had to carry on all night, he would. Nothing else could help erase the squirming ball of humiliation which danced evilly inside of him.

Why did he do it? Why the fuck did he do it? Ruin everything? Levi needed Erwin, laid his bare existence on a platter and vowed to follow him even to the pits of hell. This was his life's calling, reason or not. In amongst that calling also lay a growing desire, a wanting urge that was left unquenched until yesterday.

The very thought had Levi's stomach churning, mortified at his actions. He'd completely misread Erwin's intentions, moved in and claimed his lips with hunger, only to be met by a stony wall of shock and a sturdy shove. The look of abhorrence on Erwin's face was branded upon Levi's retinas, the image of his back fleeing the scene causing bile to rise. Erwin had left, bumping into spartan furniture and not even bothering to close the door to his own office. 

"Fuckin' idiot."

Levi finished another round after admonishing himself and ignored the screaming agony from his limbs, setting off on his constant punishment. The snow had compacted beneath his boots, stamped down like his heart, his pride bruised and battered. That brought another memory to the fore, one which Levi chased out of his mind as fast as his legs swept across the chilly yard.

Exhausted, wet and angry, Levi trudged inside as the storm ramped up beyond even his abilities, blinded by flakes that clung to his eyelashes as a stark reminder. It would take hours to warm up again but Levi didn't care, gladly accepting his fate and penance for being so ridiculously off the mark.

As if Erwin would ever feel the same.

As if Erwin could ever want some uncouth little thug like Levi.

As if Erwin saw him as anything but a fellow soldier.

Solemn steps brought Levi to his quarters, boots neatly placed atop a small mat to dry off, the door slammed sullenly. He changed clothes with aggressive tugs of fabric, a cold perfunctory wash-down making his teeth chatter harder than they had outside. Levi left his hair wet, combed back out of the way before he sat on the uncomfortable floor, rags and polish in hand to bring his boots back to pristine condition.

His fingers cramped, arms not far from succumbing too but Levi never missed a beat, took his simmering ire out on the leather with fast sweeps and scrubs.

So intense were his efforts that Levi didn't hear the creak of a board, didn't see the shadow of another, didn't feel the hand on his nape until the last minute.

Moving fast as lighting, Levi had a blade on the crouching assailant's neck in seconds, growling deeply with murder in his eyes.

"So you avoid me all day, don't say a fuckin' word and then creep up on me in the middle of the night?"

"Levi, stand up."

"Fuck you."

Levi directed his loathing at the wrong person, easily blending into a callous uncaring human to protect his unexpected feelings.

"Please. Stand up."

He looked for the first time, saw missed stubble on Erwin's chin, a creased shirt, the metal knife biting at his skin. Too familiar. Too real.

"Fine."

Levi dropped his arm, not before he'd noted darker than usual lids and deeply set wrinkles at the corner of Erwin's eyes, all points which hadn't existed this morning. He rose slowly, joints popping and Levi kept his gaze to the flagstones, toeing at a slight crack. As expected, Erwin stood too, not stooping to Levi's level or patronising, perfect gentleman yet again.

The faint snort of sarcastic mirth was ill contained, Levi's lips curling when the hand beneath his jaw surprised him into silence, a thumb pressing into soft flesh. He didn't struggle or step away, their gazes connecting, one full of apology and the other harbouring defiance.

"I'm sorry, Levi."

Waiting for the inevitable 'but', Levi steadied himself for a second round of rejection, this time spelled out in words. Instead his patience was met by the briefest of kisses, modestly closed lips brushing calmly against his own, leaving him breathless. 

"What...?"

"I'm afraid I acted like a coward yesterday, Levi." No response allowed Erwin to continue, Levi's eyes narrowing in confusion. "Every time you go out of those gates, I'm sick with worry. Will you come back to me? Will you be whole? Will you blame me for anything that happens?"

"I wouldn't ever..."

"Please?" Erwin wasn't finished, a kind smile asking for more. "I couldn't risk that look of accusation from you, Levi. Anyone but you. So, I thought I'd be able to keep professional, keep you safe. But I can't."

Erwin's voice cracked, his brows low as he seemed to give in to a forbidden requirement, his face hanging close to Levi's in the dim light.

"I thought you didn't want me, Erwin."

Their foreheads touched, gently sharing unspoken thoughts and Erwin chuckled, abandoning correctness in the place of need.

"Oh, I want you. Only you." 

A day of soul-searching and hurt, twenty four hours to unscramble what was for the best and what simply felt right...it all ended in two bodies twined together on a stiff couch, the cushions seeming softer than ever as Levi sat draped sideways on Erwin's lap, snatching kiss after kiss long into the morning, taking what they could before death came chasing again.


	33. Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt about a picnic that got a bit steamy from kitty

There had been a picnic blanket on a small square of grass, green blades bent and mushed to give an idea of what once was. Abandoned plates lay strewn around the scene alongside empty glasses of prosecco, the last dregs drained, a forgotten punnet of strawberries looking forlorn and unloved.

There had been a lazy lunch enjoyed here, the Sunday afternoon air heavy with summer's heat. A perfect day, some might say.

There had been all of this but now there were just ghosts remaining, two pairs of sensible sandals suggesting a kind of rapture recently occured.

Shaking bushes attracted the brief attention of passers-by, a set of bare feet hardly visible under the leaves. If anyone cared to get closer, they would see curled toes at the ends of those small feet, flexing in and out. They'd hear tiny gasps and stifled moans that escaped through fingers. Futher still and they would be able to make out the sound of enthusiastic slurps, wet lips moving effortlessly against flesh, low hums.

Should anyone chance to pull the foliage away, sneak a glimpse, they'd be treated to the look of utter bliss as Levi held tight to Erwin's sun bleached hair, head back and mouth open in a wide smile, hips flinching inwards with each glorious wave of his climax, Erwin hungrily swallowing it all down. 

It happened more often than one might think, sudden urges taking hold of the couple, especially when there were strawberries involved.


	34. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.

_'Levi it's cold.'_

Fine dining, expensive tuxedos. Cufflinks that were an anniversary gift. Gold leaf on champagne glasses and the trip of a lifetime.

_'I can't feel my toes.'_

They'd danced the evenings away, two friends taking over the polished wooden floorboards with their seamless moves and sprightly enthusiasm, the other passengers clapping along and commenting on how they must be such good comrades.

_'Its ok Erwin, I've got you.'_

Lover's embraces were contained to their quarters, as was befitting for these kinds of surroundings, flesh on flesh and sweat mixing with the night's breeze, saltwater scents.

_'Close your eyes.'_

Days were lazy, sitting up on the promenade as the world trailed slowly by, women in large hats flocking to spend some time with the charming Mr Smith and his intriguing travelling buddy.

_'I'm sorry, Erwin. I couldn't...'_

Canapes, fine wine, oysters.

_'Don't. Don't, Levi. It's not your fault.'_

Time together, emotions, freedom.

_'Keep your eyes shut, Erwin.'_

Smashing glass, screams, the unthinkable. An immovable obstruction outside their cabin door, bodies falling past the small round window, lights out, no escape, water.

A final embrace, Levi's body curled around Erwin's back, shushing him, stroking wet blonde hair as the icy ocean filled their room.

_'I love you.'_

_'Forever.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why I can't watch Titanic.


	35. Tell Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Canon angsty drabble

They’d been here countless times before, side by side, glasses of cheap scotch in slightly trembling hands, the worn couch beneath them imprinted with the memory of bodies. It was close, earlier. Too close. Levi swallowed down his drink in bitterness, grimacing against the despair that welled in his chest whenever he replayed the exact moment he’d thought Erwin was lost to him. Dark, windy, impossible to navigate but Levi followed instinct through all of the confusion and death, raced to Erwin’s last known position to see him drenched in rain and metres away from hungry jaws. The rest passed by in a blur of pain, inhuman strength lending itself at the opportune moment so now here they sat, bruised and exhausted, like countless times before.

Levi didn’t know how many more times he could stomach it.

Erwin shifted his weight beside him, sighing into a more relaxed slouch and saying nothing as usual, simply staring at the small pock marked table that was covered in unfinished paperwork. Did he even remember? Had it all transpired so fast that shock and self preservation stashed the incident away?

Back on the field, out there hours prior to now, marooned at the base of a tree in the driving rain…back there, they’d changed. They’d slid from professional routine, forgot their standings and all of the reasons why it shouldn’t happen, why it couldn’t, why their lives depended on keeping emotions at bay. After his rescue Erwin had gaped openly at Levi and vice versa, two men staring at one another amongst liquid earth and blood, sinking to their knees with the raw gratitude of being alive. Hands had feverishly searched, squeezed limbs and ran over uniforms, checking and celebrating all at once. The absolute relief on Erwin’s stained face glowed through sheets of icy water and he’d lifted a hand, gently cupped Levi’s scraped chin, passed a weathered thumb along his bottom lip whilst the world slowed down around them.

Seconds of muggy shouting in the distance stretched into hours, voices miles away, destruction a mere inconvenience when Levi placed his palm softly on Erwin’s hand, gazes never breaking…

The nearby call to muster struck through Levi’s soul like fire, their touches melting to nothing. They returned, debriefed, bathed and sought sparse medical attention, all without talking a single word, mindless footfalls habitually finding themselves back here to Erwin’s quarters.

As a fire crackled lazily in the hearth, alcohol did its job at masking any sorrow and turned cheeks pink, gave a sense of false bravery along with introverted reflection, utterances still stuck in burning throats. Levi poured again, as was his part in this play, passing a glass and receiving a tiny huff of thanks in return. He expected no more or no less, a slight dance of fingertips fumbling in the dim light that sent sparks straight from his ears to the soles of his socked feet, toes curling at such a mundane physical connection.

Wood turned to ashes, candles to dead wicks, the outside world to utter darkness but Erwin still wouldn’t speak, his chin resting on an open shirt collar and eyes bleary. A faint nod of the head roused Levi from his own reverie, tongue loosened and insolent.

“What the fuck are we doing?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, instead careering through drunken rambles.

“What if we did? What would happen? Is it so bad?”

Erwin didn’t speak.

“Fuck this. Fuck you.”

Erwin didn’t speak still, rousing misplaced anger.

“I should’ve guessed. Too busy saving everyone else to see what’s right in fucking front of…”

A slam made Levi jolt, Erwin’s glass meeting wood in a decisive move and surprised eyes met dangerous blue, a level of darkness within that had never been seen before. Erwin sat tall, commanding as if on official business, his mouth a tight line, jaws grinding, an imposing figure drawn up to full seated height and eclipsing all else. Levi floundered, his petulance abruptly ceasing, replaced by unwelcome fear. He’d spoken beyond his station, pushed too far and ruined the albeit tense status quo. Nothing would stop him from following Erwin to hell, a one way journey for the greater good, but now he supposed it would be a journey made with terse understanding. He waited, anxiously ready for the order to leave and never bring this childish outburst up again, Erwin’s glare drilling straight through Levi’s soul and voice a growl.

“Do you not think I…” He broke off, sighing through his nose. “Levi, I can see very well what’s in front of me.”

Levi threw back his whiskey, the spell shattered by fraught exhaustion in Erwin’s tone.

“Fine. Whatever. I’ll go.”

“Levi, you’re insufferable sometimes.”

“All the more reason for me to fucking go.”

“Grow up, Levi. You’re being juvenile and I have no time for games.”

That stunned Levi into indignant silence, his teeth gnashing behind closed lips as he stared at Erwin, running possible retorts through his head and picking choice words to spit back. But none came. The fatigue in Erwin’s features held no malice, only weary regret, something which Levi had no idea how to repair. They regarded each other in a stony hush, weighing up options or simply just too weak to carry on. A heaviness settled into Levi’s bones, memories of the day combining with liquor and he moved to stand, put this behind them and start tomorrow afresh, forgetting any of this occurred, as usual.

Erwin’s grip halted Levi, fist curled round his wrist hard enough to turn his skin paler at the point where blunt nails dug into flesh. He looked down, back up, down again, incredulous. The hold loosened but didn’t disappear and Erwin couldn’t level with Levi’s eyes, smiling sadly at where their bodies met and whispering in a low rush.

“We can’t.”

Levi’s sigh was a feathery moan, his hand twisting gently to turn his palm to Erwin’s, fingers sliding between larger and equally calloused ones.

“I know.”

Erwin slumped, his torso curled and posture defeated, bringing them closer unintentionally. Levi felt breath on his brow, let lids fall shut and allowed muscles to move as they wished, no longer caring for the consequences. Nose nudging Erwin’s cheek, he revelled in the warmth of another and swallowed away the lump of sorrow that threatened to burst in his throat, a slight turn of Erwin’s head ghosting lips to lips. If he was that kind of man Levi would have cried, sobbed his way through their tiny kisses and tasted saltwater yet he kept solid, pecked at Erwin’s mouth and grew tattered wings, his heart both lifted and crushed at the same time.

“Levi…we shouldn’t do this…I can’t lose you.”

Levi whimpered, forehead resting against Erwin’s and free hand on his nape, stroking the shorter darker hair in slow circles. They eased sideways against the back of the couch, face to face, legs somehow finding a place to rest amongst a tangle of thighs, eyes finally meeting. The sheer need in Erwin’s expression destroyed Levi a little bit more, a look that mirrored his own frayed nerves and Erwin gulped, slurring almost imperceptibly.

“Tell me, Levi. Tell me, if we could, what would you do?”

Chills sprang up on Levi’s skin, filling his veins with adrenaline. Moving further in, he let his fingers trace over Erwin’s clean shirt, mapping out a physique that he’d admired from afar, shivers racking through them both. Levi inhaled deeply, drunk enough to feel no shame but sober enough to know exactly what he was saying, words placed directly into Erwin’s ear.

“Kiss you until my breath became yours.”

Erwin dropped his head back with a groan, his eyes closed and neck stretched, Levi’s mouth lazily exploring the newly exposed area. Foggy reality spun like a long lost friend, nothing existing apart from them and the pursuit of comfort, a deep and unusually raw commentary meant only for one person.

“Kiss you until your lungs hurt, Erwin. Take the fucking pain away from everything else…”

Levi travelled south, his hot tongue acquainting itself with collar bones.

“I’d make you forget about all of the shit in this life, make you forget who you are.”

Erwin’s hands were in his hair, flexing in and out, abdomen tensing as Levi put good use to a dishevelled hem, dipping in to lick across Erwin’s downy stomach.

“And Erwin?”

Levi was instantly upright, nose to nose, palms either side of Erwin’s jaw, legs straddling his body. The next admittance came with a blush, Levi’s voice wrecked and strangled to a near snarl.

“Shit…I’d fuck you so slowly…”

Erwin croaked, fists grabbing black hair, Levi’s speech intermittent between wet kisses.

“I don’t want you to know any word apart from my name…I want to take your suffering…erase it all…give you everything…”

“Everything?”

“I’d give myself to you, Erwin…all I fucking am…if you’d let me.”

The pretence of their hypothetical relationship wore thin, figures pressed together on the couch, hips grinding to a new undiscovered beat. Levi felt the beautiful sensation of friction, his brain seizing up as the whole world lay beneath him, his whole world, his reason to live. If he could offer happiness to Erwin, just one little slice, Levi would break the entire universe to achieve his goal, a gasped request and hooded blue eyes making him suddenly nauseous.

“Levi…don’t tell me any more.”

“I…I…”

That world splintered, his limbs stiff and immobile, dumbfounded by the apparent shift in Erwin’s intent and self consciousness kicked in, blazing red patches blooming across his chest. Why should he be surprised? This was wholly inappropriate, definitely not how he behaved normally but for a moment, Levi had truly been free. His embarrassed remorse must have shone clear as a warning flare, Erwin’s brows rising kindly. Whatever Levi had expected next, he didn’t receive it. Instead his core lit up in beautiful relief, unravelled his existence and built it back anew as Erwin gradually unbuttoned his shirt, revealing scars to be healed, bruises to be loved and repaired, lives to be handled with care.

“Don’t tell me, Levi. Show me.”


	36. Favourite

Hands on the headboard, back dipped, flesh on display, Levi moves with purpose, dragging on Erwin's cock perfectly, putting on a show. He knows Erwin is looking, he knows eyes are roaming so Levi grinds and slides in beautiful waves, fucking himself slowly against his lover. Fingers trail, explore, soft yet firm. Erwin hums, palms pulling cheeks apart and Levi knows what is being observed, he knows Erwin loves to watch and he lets his head drop, smiling and moaning for more.

Erwin obliges. Holds Levi's hips steady and halts proceedings, pushes deep deep further until Levi feels so full he could cry from happiness, instead letting out a small wrecked whine. Still, unmoving, Erwin dips and licks a stripe up Levi's nape, nuzzling and biting gently at the thick neck he adores so much, lavishing attention on the shaved undercut and relaxed muscles.

A whispered name is all it takes and Erwin is moving, jolting Levi's body forwards rhythmically, burying himself over and over and reaching that one spot within that has Levi drooling on the sheets, babbling nonsense. Teeth sink in to his neck with a snarl of lust and Levi comes, lost in passion. It could be hours it could be days, Levi no longer knows anything but pleasure and Erwin, the two are the same, driving him from orgasm to orgasm until he's a boneless mess.

Erwin lifts him easily, one strong arm around his broken frame, back to chest and lips to nape, all the while bringing wave upon wave of intense joy. The bed's a tangled knot of fabric covered in Levi's cum and sweat, the scent of sex hanging dense in the night air and Erwin latches on to skin once more, growling, worshipping, his heady sweet moans of release echoing off the walls.

They lie together after, limbs splayed and sharing body heat, breaths caught between stolen kisses and tired smiles, Erwin's fingertips circling on his favourite place.


End file.
